Breaking Point
by Kimura
Summary: Tasuki is kidnapped and tortured by a man with a dark power. Can Kouji piece his friend back together once he's reached the breaking point? Later appearance by Chichiri.
1. First Battle

_I wrote this a while ago, so it's not as good as some of my newer stuff. But I'm still very happy with it. Enjoy!_

_Breaking Point_  
by Kimura 

"Man, what a night!" Genrou exclaimed, dropping a sack onto his bed. "That was one of our most successful raids." 

"You can say that again," Kouji said, dropping a similar sack on the floor and collapsing into a chair. "You did a great job planning it." 

"Huh?" Genrou's head was buried in the bag, eagerly looking through the newly acquired treasures. He looked up. 

Kouji laughed. "It's great to have you back, Genrou." 

Genrou grinned. "Aw, ya missed me, huh?" 

Kouji frowned slightly. "I was worried about you, you moron." He stood up and walked to the window. "I wasn't sure you'd ever come back." 

"Yeah, and that would've been a great tragedy, wouldn't it?" Genrou joked, still smiling. 

Kouji didn't reply. 

Uncomfortable, Genrou bit his lip, unsure of what to say. He and Kouji had been friends for a long time, but they almost never talked about feelings or emotions. _He picked a hell of a time to start_, Genrou thought. He slowly got up and stood by his friend. He took a deep breath and said the only thing he could think of. "I missed you too, Kouji." 

Kouji looked up at him. 

Genrou could see the concern in his eyes, the countless hours he had spent worrying about his best friend. He had never seen Kouji's eyes so clear and unguarded before. Uncertainly, he reached out and put a hand on his friend's shoulder. "Thanks . . . for worrying about me." 

Kouji smiled, quickly regaining his usual composure. "Somebody had to, ne?" 

Genrou returned the smile, letting his hand drop to his side. 

Kouji shrugged his shoulders, as if to shake off the remnants of a bad dream. 

Genrou flopped back onto the bed, grabbing his bag and dumping its glittering contents out in front of him. "Besides, I couldn't let you have all the fun back here. So, I guess I'll have to stick around for a while." 

Kouji watched him, still smiling. _That's Genrou talk for "Relax, you idiot. I'm not going anywhere, so quit worrying."_ He sat back down and started going through his own sack. 

~~~

_The next day . . . _

Kouji sat down across from his best friend. "I think I should fill you in on what happened while you were gone." 

Genrou frowned. "I don't like the sound of this." 

Kouji sighed. "I don't know. Maybe it was my fault, maybe it was no one's fault . . . I just . . . I don't know. But now it's becoming more of a problem." 

"What happened?" 

"About two months ago, there was a group of men within the bandits that were starting to make trouble. They didn't like the way things were going. They said that our rules were out of date. The leader, Makara, tried to get a rebellion going to overthrow me." 

"Shit, Kouji . . ." 

"It didn't work. The other men were loyal. We ran Makara and his friends out of here. He vowed he'd form his own group and that one day he'd get revenge. We all just laughed it off then. But now we've started hearing things. There are rumors that Makara managed to increase his numbers. The word is that he's planning a raid pretty soon on a small town. He and his men don't play nice. That's why they started to get restless." 

"So, you think if they gain more numbers, they'll attack us?" 

Kouji shook his head. "They're not that stupid. They know we'd kick their asses if they attacked us at our stronghold. I think they might target some of our smaller teams that we send out." 

Genrou nodded. "We'll have to avoid sending them out for now. That last raid will keep us going for a while anyway. But . . ." He stood up, pacing thoughtfully. "I don't like the idea that they know where we are and we're completely blind. I want to send out one team of our best men to gather information on Makara's operation." 

Kouji nodded. "You want me to assemble a team?" 

"Yeah. I've been a little out of touch with the men. Make sure they're smart. I don't want a hostage situation on my hands." 

"You got it." 

Genrou sat down, sighing. "I didn't expect trouble to come knocking on my door that fast," he muttered. 

Kouji smiled at him crookedly. "Didn't think being leader, even co-leader, would be so hard, did you?" 

Genrou shook his head. "You're better at it than me." 

Kouji frowned. "Don't say that. The men respect you." 

He stood back up, still shaking his head. "They respect the tessen, not me." 

"No, moron. They respect you. Trust me." 

Genrou ran a hand through his hair, still not convinced. 

"Don't be so unsure of yourself. Whatever happened to that cocky, smart-ass Genrou I knew?" 

Genrou sighed and stared out the window. "A lot of shit happened, Kouji. I . . . I don't want to go into it." 

Kouji also sighed, hoping that someday Genrou would be able to talk about it. "Don't worry about it, okay?" 

Genrou nodded, a small smile spreading across his face. "Yeah, I'm fine." 

Kouji looked at him closely. "You sure?" 

Genrou grinned and punched him in the arm. "Don't get soft on me, Kouji." 

~~~

A few weeks passed in relative peace. Genrou appeared to pick up right where he had left off. The other bandits were pleased; together their leaders seemed invincible. Genrou, the former Suzaku Seishi, was back where he belonged. 

That's what Genrou let them believe. That's what he tricked himself into believing. Kouji knew better. 

_Something happened to him_, Kouji thought. _Something he saw while being a seishi changed him. And he won't talk about it. I don't know if he ever will. _He sighed, walking quickly to Genrou's room. There's no time for this now. He arrived at the door and knocked loudly. 

"Come in," the voice called from inside. 

"We've got a problem," Kouji said, coming and closing the door after himself. 

"No shit! You didn't answer yourself when you came in the door!" 

"This is serious." 

Genrou's smile quickly faded. "What is it?" 

"It's Makara." Kouji looked uncomfortable. "He attacked a town. He . . . his men . . . they killed a few people and then . . . burned the place to the ground." 

"WHAT?!" Genrou leapt to his feet. "What the hell does he think he's doing?!" 

Kouji sighed, shaking his head. "They're not bandits, Genrou. They're murderers." 

"Why the fuck would he do that? Unless he plans on moving constantly, he can't burn all his sources of supplies. What is the bastard thinking?!" 

"Apparently not much," Kouji said dryly. "Unless he does plan on moving. We just don't have the information." 

"The team couldn't pick anything up?" 

"Not a thing." 

"Damn," Genrou said, sitting back down. "We've gotta stop him. I'm not about to let some fucked up amateur go around killing people and burning all the towns around here!" 

"We should wait," Kouji said calmly. "We wait until he strikes again, then try to figure out his next move." 

Genrou nodded, though he knew the inactivity would drive him insane. 

Kouji sighed again. "It was my fault for letting him go. I --" 

Genrou's head snapped up. "Don't say that! It wasn't anyone's fault. You had no idea he'd actually get people to join him." 

Kouji shrugged. "Yah, I guess you're right." He only sounded half-hearted. 

Genrou opened his mouth to say something, but no words came to him. _Something's wrong with him_, Genrou thought. _Why isn't he like he used to be? _He shrugged the thought off. _Nothin' I can do about, I guess._

~~~

_One week later . . . _

A messenger knocked nervously on the leaders' door. 

"Come in," Genrou said. 

The young boy nearly stumbled over his own feet in his haste to get into the room. "The team heard some information on Makara!" he blurted out. 

"Well don't just stand there! Tell us!" Genrou cried. 

The boy swallowed, trying to calm down. "We know where a small group of his men are going to hit next." 

"Where?" Kouji asked. 

The boy told them the name of the town, proud to the be the bearer of good and important news. 

Kouji nodded. "You can go." The boy obediently left the room. Kouji looked at Genrou. "You think we should stop them?" 

"He said it'll only be a small number. It should only take a few of us to teach 'em a lesson." 

Kouji nodded, then looked at his friend carefully. "You okay to do this?" 

Genrou looked at him strangely. "Why wouldn't I be?" 

Kouji shrugged. "Ya just don't seem like yourself lately, that's all." 

"Well you don't either!" Genrou snapped. 

Kouji shook his head. "Look, forget it." 

"No, if you've got something to say, the just say it! You not want me here or somethin'?!" 

"It's nothing like that! You're putting words in my mouth!" He sighed, calming himself. "I'm just worried about you." 

"Worry about me when I've got a sword to my throat," Genrou growled, shoving past him. 

Kouji was left alone. _I didn't even think of that_, he thought. _He's right; I have changed. I can't talk to him about this until I figure myself out first. _He walked to the window and leaned his head against it. _Shit, Suzaku, don't let me screw this up. I've gotta talk to him about this. And I can't if he just ends up blowing up at me. Please, Suzaku, let me get through to him. _

~~~

Genrou and Kouji waited tensely behind some thick bushes with the other bandits. 

"Maybe they're not gonna show," Genrou said. 

"Be patient," Kouji told him. 

Genrou fidgeted. He and Kouji had fought side by side many times. _I thought I'd be thrilled to be back here_, Genrou thought. _But something's just not right._ Much to his irritation, he grew more tense. 

The group grew silent as the sound of approaching horses was heard. The bandits waited until just the right moment, then sprang out of their hiding place. 

"Shit!" Genrou cried as he saw there were at least twenty men facing them. He engaged three men at once. He looked over at the other bandits. Kouji and six of the others were each battling two men. The other two bandits each faced one foe. He had no time to grab his tessen with three men bearing down on him. _There's no way we can win this_, he thought. _I've gotta get rid of these guys so I can get to my tessen. _He stole another quick glance at Kouji. He winced as an enemy sword slashed at his friend's arm. Despite the bright burst of blood, Kouji didn't slow down. 

Tasuki felt a cold feeling settle in his stomach. His hands grew slick on his sword. He attacked his enemies viciously, momentarily forcing them back. He had just enough time to grab the tessen. 

"REKKA SHINEN!" 

Genrou's opponents ran off, all three of them on fire. 

Genrou turned to Makara's men. "Rekka shinen!" The new burst of fire caused all of them to back off and begin to scatter. 

One seemed particularly angry at being frightened off. He leapt out at Kouji. 

Tasuki watched the scene in slow motion. The man charged at Kouji. 

Kouji saw him in plenty of time and raised his sword in defense. 

Without quite realizing what he was doing, Tasuki gave out a yell and shoved Kouji out of the way, out of danger. He blocked the man's sword with the tessen. 

Metal clanged against metal. For a moment, they were locked together in stalemate. Then Tasuki shoved him back, nearly knocking him over. 

"Rekka shinen!" 

The man ducked out of the way of the flames and ran off to join the others. 

"Is everyone okay?" Kouji asked. The exhausted bandits nodded. Two of them knelt beside the fallen man. 

"Is he all right?" Genrou asked, leaning over them. 

"He'll live, I think," one answered. "But we need to get him back." 

Genrou nodded. "Let's go." 

~~~

_So, what do you think? Does anyone remember this from the Fushigi no Website?_


	2. The Past and the Trap

_Breaking Point_  
by Kimura  
Chapter 2 - The Past and the Trap 

There was a knock on Genrou's door. 

"Hello? Who is it? It's Kouji, the fucking great co-leader of the Mt. Reikaku bandits. Please, come in. Arigatou." 

Genrou was smiling by the time Kouji's performance was over and he came in. "You seem like you're in a good mood," he commented. 

Kouji shrugged. "Okay, I guess." 

"How's your arm?" 

"It's fine." He smirked. "Guess I was just careless." 

"Good thing ya got me lookin' out for ya." He sighed, the smile quickly fading. "That was a trap, damn it. We fell for it." 

"We'll just have to be more careful," Kouji said. "We won't fall for somethin' like that again. No point in dwellin' on it." 

Genrou nodded. 

Kouji took a deep breath, suddenly serious. 

Genrou tensed, sensing what was coming. 

"Genrou . . . why did you jump in front of me?" 

Genrou tried to shrug it off. "You were injured. I didn't want you to get hurt any worse." 

Kouji wasn't having any of it. "You know I could've handled him." 

Genrou became agitated. "I wasn't sure! I'm not a fucking mind reader!" 

Kouji's patience was quickly wearing thin. "Look, you know me. You knew I could've handled it. You're not that much of a moron. There's something else; there's something eating you. Why won't you talk to me?" 

Genrou jumped to his feet. "What makes you think I need help or somethin'?!" 

Kouji stood up to face him. "What makes you think I need help? I certainly didn't need it while you were gone!" 

Shock spread across Genrou's features. 

"Shit, Genrou, I didn't mean that," Kouji said quickly. "I . . . you . . . had to leave. I didn't mean to drag that into this." 

Genrou turned away. 

Kouji knew he was pushing his luck, but he slowly approached his friend. "Genrou, talk to me, please." There was a tense silence. "Look, you were right. I have changed. I guess . . . things were kinda hard after you left. After all that . . . I just became more serious. And . . . I'm worried about you, Genrou." 

Genrou shut his eyes tightly. He felt Kouji's hand on his shoulder, warm and reassuring. 

Kouji could feel Genrou shaking slightly. After another minute of silence, he added, "I won't push you if you're not ready, Gen-chan." 

"Everyone," Tasuki spat out suddenly. His voice was choked with barely checked emotion, his eyes still closed. "I . . . I lost everyone." It took him a minute to pull himself together before he could speak again. "We thought we were invincible. We . . . and then Nuriko died. And I just . . ." He stopped again, struggling to keep himself in control. 

Kouji almost started to feel guilty about forcing him to talk about it. _But he's got to_, he thought. _He can't keep all this inside._

"I . . . I don't know how we all got so close in such a short amount of time, but . . . it just kinda happened. And it hurt so fucking much . . . then Chir --" He broke off, putting a hand to his mouth. _I can't do this_, he thought. _I'm gonna fucking lose it . . . _He felt Kouji gently rubbing his shoulder. 

"It's okay, Gen-chan," Kouji whispered. "You don't have to do this." 

_No_, Tasuki thought. _I've come this far already. _He pulled his hand away from his mouth and opened his eyes, staring at the floor. "Chiriko . . . he was only fucking thirteen years old, Kouji. And he was braver than the rest of us put together." 

Kouji said nothing, just quietly waited for him to continue. 

"Hotohori and Mitsukake . . . they died at just about the same time. That whole thing . . . it's just kind of a blur now. And then Miaka and Tamahome went back to Miaka's world. And Chichiri . . . God knows where the hell he is. He's off wandering somewhere. He . . . he said he'd come if I ever needed him. But . . ." Tasuki managed to meet Kouji's eyes. "You're all I've got left, Kouji. I . . . I wouldn't be able to take it if you left, too." He looked back at the floor. 

"I'm not goin' anywhere, Genrou," Kouji said softly. "You're not gonna lose me." He stopped, unsure of what else to say. _I have no way of making him any guarantees_, he thought. "Listen, I'll be careful, all right? But we're both leaders and that means that we're gonna have to put ourselves in danger. I promise that we'll be as careful as we can, okay?" 

Tasuki nodded, though he looked anything but satisfied. He pulled away, trying to stuff the painful memories back where they belonged. He felt a little better after getting all of that off his chest. 

_Thank God he was at least able to talk about it_, Kouji thought. _Keeping that kind of shit inside can kill you. _

"You okay?" Kouji asked softly. 

Tasuki nodded, still not speaking. 

Kouji turned to the door, then stopped. "You comin' to dinner?" 

"I'm not really hungry," Tasuki replied shakily. 

"You sure?" 

"Yeah . . . I . . . I just wanna be alone for a while." 

Kouji winced, but didn't let his friend see. _No, he's not okay. But I'm not gonna get any more out of him_, he thought. "I'll bring you something back, okay?" He looked over his shoulder, but Tasuki seemed to be lost in thought, staring out the window. He sighed and silently left the room. He shut the door after himself, then waited. 

After a minute, he heard the sound of soft sobs coming from beyond the door. He winced again, and wanted badly to go back inside. _He'll just yell at me_, he told himself, clenching his fists. _He doesn't want me to see him like that. _

With a great deal of effort, he moved away from the door and down the hall. 

~~~

After dinner, Kouji went back to check on Genrou. He knocked gently. "Genrou?" 

"What?" came the muffled reply. 

"Are you sure you don't want me to bring you anything?" 

"N-no, I'm not hungry." 

Kouji sighed. "Gen, you should eat something." 

"I'm fine." 

Kouji paused, trying to find the right words. "If you need to talk . . . you know where I am, all right?" 

There was no response. 

Kouji sighed again and left reluctantly. _Shit, this is not good_, he thought._ Damn it, I should've waited to bring this up. We don't need this right now. But he's gotta deal with it sometime. _He passed by some of the men. 

"Hey, where's Genrou?" one of them asked Kouji. 

"He's not feelin' well," Kouji replied. 

The bandit frowned. "He gonna be okay?" 

Kouji tried to smile. "Yeah, he'll be fine." He turned away and headed for his room._ At least I hope he will be. _

~~~

Kouji awoke in the middle of the night from a troubling dream. He got out of bed, trying to control his breathing. He slowly walked to the window, brushing the sweat from his forehead. He closed his eyes, the images flashing through his mind. 

Kouji shook his head. _No, it's just a dream_, he told himself. _It's just a damn dream. _Kouji shivered. He reached out for a shirt, pulling it over his head. He headed for the door and went silently down the hall to Genrou's room. He knocked extremely softly, then opened the door. 

Tasuki was lying on the bed, fully clothed, sound asleep. As Kouji approached, he could see the tracks of dried tears on his friend's face. Kouji sighed. Gently, he removed Tasuki's boots and lifted him up, placing him under the covers. He looked down sadly at the younger bandit. _He's not happy here_, he thought. _He doesn't know where he belongs. But he won't be able to admit it for a while. He just . . . doesn't know how to deal with any of this. _He hesitated, then reached out and brushed a fiery strand of hair out of Tasuki's face. He sighed again, then turned and left as quietly as he'd come. 

~~~

Kouji awoke the next morning, later than he would have liked. He quickly got up and dressed. Before going to breakfast, he decided to check in on Genrou. _Hope he got more sleep than I did_, he thought as he knocked on the door. 

There was no answer. 

Kouji frowned, knocking louder. "Genrou? You awake?"_ Don't tell me he's gonna hide in his room for the rest of his life_, he thought. He paused, then opened the door. 

The room was empty, the bed made. 

"You lookin' for Genrou?" a bandit asked, walking past. 

"Yeah. You know where he is?" Kouji asked. 

"Sure. He's in the dining hall." 

"Oh. Thanks." Kouji was a little surprised and tried not to let the other bandit notice. He walked quickly down to the dining hall, without being sure why he was hurrying. _What are you so worried about, aho? _he asked himself. 

When he arrived, Genrou was sitting in his usual place, talking and laughing with the other men. 

Like always. 

"Ohayo, Kouji," Genrou said cheerfully. "Sleep a little late?" 

_What's wrong with this scene? _Kouji wondered, making a conscious effort to look cheerful. "Yeah, just a little. Doesn't look like I missed much." He kept stealing anxious glances at Genrou as he got his food. _Is he all right? He was so upset yesterday . . . _Genrou didn't seem to notice his friend's concern. 

After breakfast, Kouji pulled Genrou aside. "Are you all right?" 

Genrou frowned. "Whaddya mean?" 

"I was just worried about you . . . because of yesterday." 

Genrou shrugged. "I'm fine." 

Kouji regarded him carefully, trying to find some hidden pain in the fearless amber eyes. _He looks okay . . . but how could he just get over it all so quickly? _

At a loss of what else to say, Kouji asked, "Are you sure?" 

Genrou rolled his eyes. "Yes, mother." 

"Just -- just wanted to make sure, that's all," Kouji said, sounding lame. 

"C'mon," Genrou said, starting toward the leader's room. "We've gotta figure out what we're doing about that bastard Makara." 

Kouji nodded and followed him. 

~~~

Just as the two co-leaders were sitting down to discuss their plans, the door burst open. 

"Makara and his men have been spotted down the mountain!" the man cried, excitedly. "They're heading for the bridge. If we start out tonight, we could meet them there!" 

"What the hell was he doing all the way down there?" Kouji wondered aloud. 

Genrou was already shouting out orders for the attack. "This time we'll surprise them." He turned to run out the door to get the men ready, until he noticed Kouji still sitting at the desk. "What're you waiting for?!" 

Kouji blinked. "Sorry. I was just thinkin' about something." 

Genrou gave him a cocky grin. "There's no time for that now." 

Kouji tried to smile back, but failed. _Something's wrong_, he thought. _I've got a horrible feeling about all of this. Something's gonna happen . . . but what? _

~~~

Things were going exactly according to plan. The Reikaku bandits engaged Makara's men on the high bridge above the raging river. The fight was going well. The Reikaku bandits had not suffered many losses. However, neither side appeared to be winning. 

They were evenly matched. 

Makara looked at the select group of four men he had chose for a special mission. He simply nodded. The men sprung into action, working their way towards the center of the bridge. 

Genrou looked over his shoulder at Kouji, who was fighting on the Reikaku side of the bridge. He still wasn't completely comfortable in battle with Kouji in danger. 

_Concentrate, Genrou_, he told himself. _You've got yourself to look out for. Kouji can take care of himself. _

Having been lost in his thoughts momentarily, Genrou didn't notice that four men had slowly surrounded him. He was quickly broken from his reverie when one them did a roundhouse kick, knocking the tessen out of his hand and into the river below. 

"Fuck!" he said, drawing his sword. "You bastards'll pay for that!" 

Without warning, all four men attacked him at once, securing his arms behind him and taking the sword from his hands. 

Genrou struggled violently to free himself. He hadn't even quite seen what had happened; the men had been too fast. "LEMME GO!" he yelled. "What the hell is this!?" Between the four of them, they forced him over to the side of the bridge. 

Tasuki saw what they were about to do. 

"KOUJI!" he shouted. "Somebody help me!" 

The two men holding his arms held him fast while the other two grabbed his legs. 

Kouji looked up, hearing his name. He stared in horror at the scene in the middle of the bridge. 

"GENROU!" He desperately pushed his way through the battling men. "Let me THROUGH!" he yelled. "Genrou's in trouble!" The other bandits of Reikaku saw this and did their best to get out of the way. 

Tasuki kicked and squirmed as much as he could, but the men were succeeding in hoisting him over the edge. "I can't fucking SWIM!" he cried. 

"That was the idea," one of the men answered dryly. 

Kouji continued pushing his way through the crowd. Swords slashed at him and some of Makara's men tried to engage him, but nothing would stop him. "Genrou, hang on!" 

"NO!" Tasuki shouted. _Shit shit shit shit SHIT! There's gotta be a way out of this! _

The men dropped him over the edge. 

"NOOO!" Kouji screamed, leaping forward, pushing the men out of the way. He reached out, grabbing Tasuki's wrist. "Genrou!" 

Tasuki looked up. "Kouji! Pull me up!" The two men locked arms. 

The four men that had tried to assassinate Tasuki weren't gone yet. They immediately attacked Kouji. 

Kouji cried out in pain as one sword dug into his side, the other into his arm. 

"Kouji! You bastards!" Tasuki cried, trying to pull himself up. He stole a glance at the water, at least fifteen feet below him. He gasped and looked back up at the bridge. "Kouji, don't let go!" 

The other two of the four men pulled on Kouji's arms. Kouji held on with everything he had. An arrow from an unknown source pierced his shoulder. He cried out, involuntarily letting go of Tasuki. 

"KOUJIIIIIII!" Tasuki screamed, falling into the icy waters below. 

"NOOOO!" Kouji denied. His four attackers immediately retreated. He picked up his sword in his good hand and turned to face any of Makara's men that dared to come near him. 

He blinked in surprise as all of them began to back off, retreating to the other side of the bridge. _No_, he thought. _It couldn't have all been just to get rid of Genrou . . . could it? _He turned back to his own men. 

"Go downstream! NOW! Find Genrou!" The men hesitated, doubting that Genrou could have survived. "What are you waiting for?! Go!" 

"But Kouji --" 

"GO!" Kouji screamed. "Genrou's not dead! He can't be! Find him!" A small group of men hurriedly mounted their horses and rode downstream. 

Kouji collapsed to his knees, his various wounds bleeding heavily. 

"We have to get you back to the hideout," he heard a voice at his side say. "The others can take care of Genrou." 

~~~

Tasuki felt someone hitting him hard on the back. He coughed up water, nearly vomiting in the process. He laid on the soft grass, soaked and shivering. He tried to make out his surroundings, but everything was blurry. He closed his eyes, extremely dizzy. 

"Whaa . . . what happened?" he managed, opening one eye. 

He was answered by a fist in his face. 

~~~

"Any sign of him?" Kouji asked the men coming back from the search. 

They shook their heads. 

Kouji sighed and fidgeted. He hated being bed-ridden while his friend was in trouble. Fifteen minutes later, the last team came back. 

"Kouji," one of Kouji's closer friends, Tyoushi, began gently. "We found something." He showed him Genrou's tessen, one of his earrings, and a torn blue and black coat. "I . . . I don't think there's any way he could've survived without being able to swim." 

Kouji had paled considerably. "I understand," he said softly. The men quietly left the room. 

_No_, Kouji thought. _He . . . he can't be. He can't be dead! Not Genrou! He just got back! Everything was fine! This can't be happening! _"This ISN'T happening!" he shouted. He struggled to his feet, ignoring the pain. He slammed his fist into the wall. "No! NOOOO!" He pictured Genrou's face, laughing, full of life. _He can't be dead, he can't be dead, he CAN'T be! _He sank to the floor, resting his head on the bed. Tears streamed down his face; sobs wracked his body. "Genrou . . . Genrou . . . GENROU! MAKARA, YOU BASTAAAAAAAAARD! 

_I forgot how much I put Kouji and Tasuki through in this. I'm so mean._


	3. Falling

_Breaking Point_  
by Kimura  
Chapter 3 - Falling 

Genrou groaned, coming back to consciousness. His head was killing him. He moved to rub his temple, only to find that he was having trouble moving his arms. His eyes shot open. 

"Fuck!" he cried, seeing chains encircling his wrists. He tried to get up quickly, then realized it was a bad idea. He ached all over. He sat up, a bit more carefully and looked around. 

He was in a cell with a heavy wooden door and a tiny barred window. There was another small high window on the other side of the room. The room was cold, dark, and damp. The chains attached to his wrists gave him some mobility, but weren't long enough to allow him to stand. 

_Shit_, he thought. _That son a bitch caught me. Fuck. Why didn't he just kill me? I would've drowned anyway. What's up his sleeve?_ His thoughts turned to Kouji. _No . . . shit! They all must think I'm dead! That means they won't coming looking for me . . . shit. I'll have to get out of here on my own. _He pulled against the chains, but they didn't give one centimeter. 

The door to his cell opened. 

Genrou tried to jump to his feet, forgetting that he couldn't stand. "You fucking bastards! Lemme go!" 

"I see you're settling in just fine," the man said smoothly. 

"Makara," Genrou growled. "You made them think I died, didn't you?" 

"They won't be coming for you, if that answers your question." 

"Why the hell are you keeping me? What do you want from me?" 

"You will find that out soon enough. Be patient, my friend. You won't be going anywhere soon." He turned to leave. "I just came to check on you. The guards will be attending to you for the first week or so." 

"They'll come for me anyway!" Genrou cried out, trying to be defiant. 

Makara turned. "If you believe that, then you're less intelligent than I anticipated." 

~~~

It was almost two full days before Kouji came out his room again. A small group of men had sat beside the door, patiently waiting and planning what to do if he didn't come out. 

"Are you all right?" Tyoushi asked. 

Kouji nodded. He hadn't eaten, slept, or bathed since he'd barricaded himself inside. He looked slightly distracted, but decidedly in control of his emotions. His body was another matter. 

Tyoushi reached out and caught him just before he collapsed to the floor. "Go get some food and water!" he ordered some of the men. Tyoushi and another bandit helped Kouji to his feet, then to a chair. Kouji shook off their assistance once he was seated. 

"Is there anything we can do?" Tyoushi asked gently. 

"Bury his clothes," Kouji answered hoarsely. "Near the other Leader's grave. And . . . the tessen." 

"But Kouji --" another bandit started to protest. 

"No one else can use it anymore," Kouji barked in reply. "A spell was put on it." Kouji ran a hand through his tangled hair, quickly regaining control of his emotions. _I have to be strong in front of them_, he told himself. "And I want as many men as we can spare out looking for Makara. I want to know what his next move is." 

A bandit came back in carrying some food and set it down on a table next to Kouji. 

Kouji just looked at it. 

"Eat it," Tyoushi said sternly. "You need to get your strength back." 

Kouji nodded. _I'm not gonna let Makara win, Genrou_, Kouji vowed silently. _I will avenge your death. _

~~~

Genrou was thrown back into his cell, barely conscious. One of the guards chained him back up. 

After a minute, Genrou slowly sat up. His blood had stained the floor in places, though it was impossible to see in the dim light. He leaned against the wall, trying to get his breathing back to normal. 

_Fucking bastards_, he thought. _They drug me and then sic five guys on me at once. They didn't even give me a chance to fucking fight back. _He rubbed at a bruise that had begun to form on his cheek. _What the hell does Makara want from me? If he just wanted to beat the crap outta me, why doesn't he just have me killed? That son of a bitch's got somethin' else going. _

Wincing at a pain in his side, Genrou looked up at the moon through the tiny window. _Kouji, you've gotta somehow know I'm still alive. Don't give up on me. Please. _

Genrou instinctively growled as he heard the guards laughing outside his door. _Next time, they won't get me so easily. _

~~~

Kouji managed to successfully take control of the Mt. Reikaku bandits once again and led them with confidence. His spies had no success in gathering information on Makara. It seemed as though the rival bandit had decided to drop out of sight completely. 

Kouji knew he wasn't gone for good. 

He had recurring nightmares of Genrou's death. Sometimes he dreamt that Genrou was still alive. Other times, Genrou's ghost came and blamed him for his death. He had never slept well since the incident, but he never showed any weakness in front of his men. 

On the whole, the bandits were relatively successful. They had enough food and supplies. Things seemed to be going well. They were sad to lose Genrou, but found strength in Kouji and carried on, as Genrou would have wanted. 

Kouji still felt an emptiness inside him, knowing that the score was uneven. He needed to get even for Genrou's death. He knew it was the only way to get the nightmares to stop and to feel whole again. 

~~~

_A week and a half later . . . _

Genrou half-dragged himself, half-crawled out of the building. He leaned against the building, gratefully taking deep breaths of free air. 

He looked around at his surroundings, disappointed to see that he did not recognize them. _I'll get back to Reikaku somehow_, he thought, determined. 

His stomach ached terribly and he knew they hadn't fed him in at least three days. _They probably try to keep me weak so I can't try something like this._

It was sheer luck that he'd gotten free. The guards had been very drunk and had forgotten to chain him up or properly lock the door. Either that or one of them was on his side. _Yeah, like that's real likely_, he thought. 

He gasped as hands grabbed him. 

"We've got 'im," a voice shouted. 

Genrou was forced to his feet. "LET GO OF ME!" he screamed, fighting against them viciously. 

"Bring him downstairs. He needs to be taught a lesson." Genrou could hear Makara's voice, although he couldn't see him. He was too busy trying to free himself. There were at least four guards forcing him back inside the building. 

_Not when I was so close . . . Please, Suzaku help me! _

The guards forced him into the dungeon and brought him to the room that was typically the site of Genrou's daily beatings. However, this time things were different. They lifted him up onto a wooden table and chained him to it, face down. He struggled for a moment against the chains, then quickly realized that there was no escape. 

Genrou's shirt was torn wide open in the back. _They'll probably whip me_, he thought. He tried to brace himself for the pain. Images flashed through his mind. He momentarily felt evil Tamahome's foot on his back and the sting of his nunchaku. Quickly, he pushed the memory away. 

"Now, Genrou," Makara began, as if talking to a child. "I need to know that you're always going to remember me. So, I think I'll make sure." 

Genrou squirmed. "After I get out of here and slit your throat, I promise I'll never think of you again." 

"Now it's that kind of attitude that we need to change, Genrou. Guards, hold him still. I don't want to mess this up." 

Genrou felt the guards pinning him securely to the table. A minute later, he screamed as a hot iron was pressed to his skin. He bucked violently against the men holding him. 

"Just hold still, Genrou," Makara said smoothly. "Squirming will only make this take longer. You must be taught that running away is simply not acceptable." 

"FUCK YOU!" 

The iron again touched his skin, burning away his flesh. Genrou fought wildly against the guards, but they only held him down more tightly, so he could barely move. 

Genrou screamed, unable to do anything else. 

Through the extreme pain, he noticed that Makara was being very particular in the pattern in which he moved the iron. 

_What the hell is he doing? _ he wondered. He pushed against the guards again, but they gave very little, considering there were seven of them. 

"Genrou, if you don't hold still I will never finish." He again touched the metal to the soft skin. 

Again, Genrou could sense a particular pattern. 

"Shit! Stop it! You don't need to do this! I won't forget your name!" 

"I have to make sure," Makara said as he began "writing" the letter k. "This way, you'll never forget." 

Genrou had visions of being permanently scarred. "STOP IT!" Tears of anger, frustration, and pain poured down his face. "Let me GO!" He came close to being sick as the smell of burning flesh filled the air. 

He could do nothing except scream. 

And there was no one to hear him who would care. 

Makara and the guards left Genrou chained to the table after carving the final 'a' into his flesh. Genrou wept bitterly, completely humiliated. His back felt as if it was on fire. 

He cried out as someone touched his wounds. "Stop it," he moaned. 

"Shh," a new voice told him. "Just stay still." 

Not having the energy to do anything else, Genrou obeyed. He winced again as something touched his wounds, but stopped as he realized it was cool instead of hot. The stranger was trying to help him. 

"Will it be permanent?" Genrou asked. 

"Probably," the voice answered. The stranger applied a salve to Genrou's back, bringing the pain back down to manageable levels. 

"Arigatou," Genrou croaked. 

The door swung open. 

~~~

_Three months later . . . _

Kouji knelt in front of Genrou's grave. 

"Hey, Genrou. Things are going a little better now. Makara's men are starting to surface again, even though there's no sign of the man himself. Coward. I know he'll show up sooner or later. Once he does, his ass is mine. I swear to you I won't let him get away this time." Kouji drew a dagger. He held it in his closed fist, then quickly pulled it through his fist, drawing blood. Kouji waited until blood dripped onto his friend's grave, followed by his tears. "I swear to you, Genrou, I will avenge your death. That bastard can't get away with it. I won't let him. I won't rest until he's dead." 

"Kouji," a voice behind him called. 

"You know I'm not to be disturbed when --" 

"I know, sir. But we've captured one of Makara's men." 

There was a brief pause. 

"I'll be right there." 

~~~

Kouji walked quickly down to the room where the prisoner was being held after bandaging his hand. He practically kicked the door down and grabbed the man by the collar. 

"Where is that fucking bastard Makara?!" he demanded. 

"I-I won't tell you anything!" the man replied. 

Kouji shoved the man to his knees, drawing his sword and placing it at his throat. "Talk and I'll consider letting you live." 

The man stared at the sword. "I-I honestly don't know where he is right now." 

"You have five seconds to tell me something useful before I end your life." 

"Wait! Don't!" 

"Five." 

"Please!" 

"Four." 

"Don't kill me! Please!" 

"Three." 

"I don't know what else to tell you!" 

"Two." 

"PLEASE!" 

"One." 

"GENROU'S NOT DEAD!" 

Kouji froze, then yanked the man closer. "What the FUCK did you just say?!" 

The man was hysterical with fear. "I said Genrou's not dead!" 

"I swear to God, if you're lying --" 

"I'm not lying! Please, believe me! They faked the whole thing to make you think he was dead!" 

Kouji let the man go. "Have you seen him?" 

"Y-Yes. I-I know where he is, but . . . " 

"Why did Makara do this?" 

"H-He wanted to try to weaken the Reikaku bandits." He looked up at Kouji, his eyes wild. "Please, spare my life." 

"Keep him locked up," Kouji told the guards. He quickly ran out of the room and back to his own. He held onto the wall for support, then gave up and collapsed to the floor. 

"Genrou," he whispered. _Can it really be true? Are you alive?_ It was too much for him to comprehend. _All this time . . . he was alive all this time? What if that little worm is lying? What if it's a trap? _

Kouji shook his head decisively. _I'll have to take that chance. _

~~~

_This story is actually completed. It will be about 10 chapters long and I will post the rest soon. If you have trouble writing summaries on fanfiction.net or anywhere else, I'm quite good at boiling plots down to a few key sentences that can hook an audience in. E-mail me if you would like some help. Uh ... don't judge by my own stories. For some reason, I'm better at writing them for other people._


	4. Found

_Breaking Point_  
by Kimura  
Chapter 4 - Found 

"You're sure you know where we heading?" Kouji asked the man they had captured, Himoto. 

"I'm positive," Himoto replied. He had decided to help the Reikaku bandits willingly, regretting many of the things he'd done under Makara's leadership. 

Kouji still wasn't sure they could completely trust him. But in this situation, he had no choice. 

"It's just a little further," Himoto went on. "And yes, I'm positive Makara won't be there. He only goes every other day and your spies saw him there yesterday." 

Kouji nodded, trying to tell himself to trust this man. _If this guy is my only way to get Genrou out of there, then I've got to trust him. _

He looked around at the four men he'd chosen for the mission. He didn't want to cause to much of a disturbance and force an open conflict with Makara. "You guys all know what to do, right?" 

The bandits nodded. Kouji had made them go over their plans at least a dozen times. 

The small cabin came into view and Himoto motioned for them to lay low. 

"That's it?" Kouji asked. "It looks tiny." 

"The guards live upstairs. There's enough room because there's only two of them now. A lot of it is actually underground. That's where Genrou's being kept. There's a window in his cell at the back, but if we're gonna make our move it has to be now." 

Kouji nodded. "Let's go." 

They moved in on the building, surrounding the front door and drawing their weapons. Kouji gave a nod to one of the other bandits, who kicked down the door. The attack was quick and efficient. The two guards were secured in seconds. 

"You guys stay up here, look for clues or anything on Makara and make sure the area's safe. I'll go get Genrou." 

Tyoushi threw him the keys. Kouji sprinted down the stairs. 

Himoto had been right. The basement was large compared to the size of the house. There were four heavy wooden doors; two on the right, one on the left, and one at the end of the hall. The one on the left had a small window in it. He looked inside and gasped as he saw Tasuki lying on the floor. 

"Genrou, hang on," he called, fumbling with the keys. "I'll have ya out in a minute." He swung the door open, but his friend did not respond. Moving closer, he saw that Tasuki was unconscious. Kouji quickly checked for pulse and breathing, sighing in relief when he found both. He knelt down and unlocked the chains that connected his wrists to the wall. 

It was then that he truly saw his friend's condition. 

Tasuki's face was bruised, as was the rest of his body. He had some small cuts, but none looked terribly serious, except for his shoulder, which was bleeding slowly. He had obviously lost a lot of weight. His whole body seemed to be one long tale of abuse. 

_Why didn't I think of this?_ Kouji wondered. _I should've known they'd do something like this . . . fucking bastards . . . _

He opened a small pack he had brought with him and started to bandage Tasuki's shoulder. Tasuki moaned, stirring a little. 

"Hold still," Kouji instructed him gently. 

Tasuki moaned again, opening his eyes. "K-Kouji?" 

Kouji smirked, trying to lighten the situation. "The one and only." 

Tasuki looked frightened. "Is it really you?" 

Kouji frowned. "Of course it's me," he said reassuringly. 

Tasuki closed his eyes in relief, trying to sit up. 

"Whoa, hold still, Gen-chan. You're pretty badly banged up." 

Again that terrified gleam reentered Tasuki's eyes. "Will I --" 

"It's okay," Kouji said soothingly. "You'll be all right. We just need to get you back to Reikaku. Do you think anything's broken?" 

"I-I'm not sure." 

"Close your eyes and take a deep breath." 

Tasuki obeyed, but started coughing after breathing in. 

"Itai," he groaned, putting a hand to his side. "I d-don't know what's wrong . . ." 

Kouji sighed and looked him over quickly. He assessed that there were probably no broken bones, none that were serious anyway. _That's a miracle, considering how much they beat him up_, he thought. _They must have been careful on purpose. _

"Shit, Gen, what did they do to you?" 

Tasuki closed his eyes, turning his head away from Kouji, unable to move anything else without causing a lot of pain. 

"Gen-chan," Kouji called again, softly. 

Tasuki didn't reply. 

"It's okay," Kouji said slowly, picking his words carefully. "They won't hurt you anymore." 

"Where are the guards?" 

"It's okay. They're being held upstairs." 

"Where's Makara?" 

"He's not here. He only comes every other day." 

"I-I didn't notice. The days . . . they just kinda blurred together." There was a brief pause. "How long has it been?" 

"Three months," Kouji answered. He had been expecting the question. "We . . . we thought you were dead. Fuck, Gen, if I'd known what they were doing to you . . ." Kouji quickly swallowed his emotions. He had to be strong for his friend. 

Tasuki started to talk quietly, still refusing to look at Kouji. "I . . . I started praying every night that you'd come. I knew you wouldn't. I knew you thought I was dead. I knew I didn't have a chance. But I prayed for it anyway." He laughed shakily. "I knew it was pointless, but . . . I guess it made me feel a little better." 

Kouji reached out and put his hand on Tasuki's arm, since his shoulder was injured. "I'm here now, Genrou. It's over." 

Tasuki shivered. 

"You cold?" Kouji asked, frowning. 

Tasuki managed to shake his head. 

Cautiously, uncertainly, Kouji reached out his hand to touch Tasuki's hair. 

Tasuki flinched and jerked away. "Kouji, don't," he said, his voice choked. "Just don't. Leave me alone." 

Kouji ignored him, putting his hand on Tasuki's head. 

"Don't," Tasuki begged. "Please!" 

Kouji leaned closer, seeing tears flowing freely down his friend's cheeks. 

"It's okay, Gen-chan," he said, running his fingers through the tangled, flame-colored hair. "I won't tell anyone. You know that. It's just me." Being as gentle as he could, he cradled Tasuki in his arms, pulling him to his chest. 

Tasuki rebelled, pulling away violently. "Kouji, fuck OFF! I don't need this!" 

"It's okay," Kouji repeated. 

"It's not okay! It's NOT okay! It's never fucking gonna be okay! Every single day they came for me and beat the shit out of me! Every DAY!" 

"Not anymore," Kouji told him. "It's over now." 

"How do I know that?" Tasuki sobbed, trying to choke the tears back. "How do I know this isn't another fucking dream?!" 

"It's not a dream this time," Kouji replied, trying to calm him. He wouldn't let Tasuki squirm out of his arms. "Genrou, you're gonna hurt yourself. Just lie still." 

"I don't care! Let me GO!" 

"I'm not gonna let you face this thing alone." 

Genrou's struggles weakened. He had tired already, since he hadn't been fed in a week. He finally allowed Kouji to hold him, laying quietly, tears still trickling down his face. 

"It's okay," Kouji murmured. "It's over now." 

Tasuki closed his eyes. "No, it's never over. They'll find me." 

"I won't let them hurt you anymore." 

"They'll come for me tomorrow . . ." 

"No they won't, Gen-chan." Kouji paused. "What did they do to you?" 

Tasuki's voice faltered. "I-I told you already. They beat the shit out of me." 

"There's something else," Kouji said softly. "There's something you're not telling me." 

"Damn it, don't read me like that." 

"Tell me." 

"N-No." 

"Genrou . . ." 

Tasuki grabbed onto Kouji's shirt, sobs suddenly coming so hard and fast that they were choking him. 

"Please," he begged through the onslaught. "Please, Aniki, don't make me talk about it!" 

That threw Kouji off. Tasuki hadn't called him that in a long time. 

"Shh, it's all right, Gen-chan. You don't have to talk about it." 

Tasuki didn't let go. "Please, don't leave, Aniki, don't leave . . ." 

Kouji tightened his arms around him. "I won't, it's all right." He held him until the sobs slowed, then stopped. 

There was a long silence. 

"Are you all right?" Kouji asked him gently. 

After a minute, Tasuki slowly shook his head, knowing that he wasn't any good at lying to Kouji. 

Kouji realized it was going to take him a long time to fully recover. 

_But he will_, Kouji vowed. _Makara took him away from me once. I won't let him do it again. _

"Do you think you're all right to leave now?" 

"Just get me the hell out of here," Tasuki answered. 

Kouji nodded and carefully picked Tasuki up off the floor. 

Tasuki bit his lip to keep from crying out. It seemed like there was hardly a part of him that didn't ache. Kouji carried him out of the building and lifted him gently onto a waiting horse. The other bandits and Himoto were waiting. 

"How is he?" one of them asked. 

"He's badly hurt. You ride on ahead. I can't afford to jostle him." 

They nodded and rode off. 

"You okay?" Kouji asked. 

"I . . . I think so." 

"Just go to sleep, all right? It's kind of a long ride." 

Genrou nodded and closed his eyes. He tried to ignore the pain coursing through him. He gradually felt his head drooping against Kouji's chest. 

Kouji, meanwhile, was plotting agonizing and unpleasant ways to kill Makara. _That bastard . . . why the hell did he do this? _He looked down at Genrou, who had fallen asleep. _He's hardly himself. I can't even imagine what they did . . . _Kouji shuddered. He wasn't sure he wanted to know. 

~~~

Tasuki didn't wake up until at least a full day later. He had a slight fever. Tyoushi had tended to his wounds. 

Kouji had stayed with him constantly. Finally, in the middle of the night, Tasuki stirred. 

He moaned, opening his eyes. 

_What the hell?_ Tasuki's fogged mind tried to work out his surroundings. _I can move . . . what happened to the chains? _Slowly, he opened his eyes. 

There was nothing except black. 

Tasuki's breathing quickened. _Shit. Where the hell am I? Am I blind?_ he wondered. He waved his hand frantically in front of his face, but could see nothing. 

_Kouji . . . it was a dream . . . _Tasuki laid on his side and curled into a ball. Tears trickled down his face. _Fuck . . . how am I gonna get out of here?! Somebody help me! _

"Genrou?" 

Tasuki gasped. "Leave me alone!" 

Kouji lit a lamp on the bedside table. "Genrou, it's okay. It's me. You're safe." 

"K-Kouji?" Tasuki asked, squinting against the light. 

"You're home, Genrou." 

Tasuki looked around in the dim room, recognizing it as his own. "H-Home?" 

"Yeah, we brought you back. They can't get you here." There was a long pause. "How do you feel?" 

Tasuki turned away. "How should I know?" 

Kouji was kind of confused. "Um, because it's your body, Genrou." 

"No it's not." 

Kouji blinked, then checked Genrou for a fever. He was slightly warm, but not enough to be making him delirious. He pulled the covers back over him. 

"C'mon, you need some more sleep," he said softly._ At least, I hope that's all you need. _

Muttering, Tasuki complied, settling back down. After a minute, he was again sound asleep. 

~~~

Tyoushi tapped Kouji gently on the shoulder, jolting him awake. 

"It's getting late," Tyoushi said. "I thought I should wake you two up." 

Kouji yawned. "Yeah, probably a good idea." Hoping that Tasuki's delusions from the night before had stopped, Kouji shook him awake. 

Tasuki's eyes opened slowly. He was still unused to the idea of being home after so long. 

"Ohayo," Kouji said cheerfully. "The doc wants to take a look at you, okay?" 

Tasuki looked disinterested. "What for?" 

"To make sure you're healing all right," Tyoushi said, stepping forward and pulling the blankets back. He looked carefully at Tasuki's bruises, then began probing at his ribs. Tasuki gasped in pain. "Does that hurt?" 

"How should I know?!" Tasuki shouted. 

Tyoushi blinked. 

_Not this again_, Kouji thought. _What the hell is going on?_

"Genrou," Kouji said gently. "If you don't tell the doctor where it hurts, he can't help you." 

"It's not mine," Tasuki replied. 

Kouji motioned for the baffled Tyoushi to give them a moment alone. 

"Why isn't it yours?" Kouji asked when he was gone. 

"Because it's not. It's just holding me here. I could be free . . ." 

"Genrou, what the fuck are you talking about?!" 

Tasuki didn't reply. Kouji looked down at the tray of food that Tyoushi insisted he make Tasuki eat. 

"Here," he said, putting the tray in front of him. "You must be starving." 

Tasuki shrugged. 

"Genrou, damn it, you're gonna eat this. I'm not gonna let you die." 

Tasuki obeyed, looking bored. 

Afterwards, he still wouldn't answer questions about his health. Kouji stayed with him the rest of the day, even though he was restless and moody. He managed to convince him to eat dinner, after much imploring. 

Tasuki pushed away the last of the food. 

Kouji sighed, deciding they had argued enough for one night. "C'mon, you need some more sleep." 

"I don't want to." 

"Genrou --" 

"No! Quit telling me what to do!" 

Kouji's patience was at an end. "I'll stop telling you what to do when you start taking care of yourself, aho!" 

"I don't care about me! This isn't my --" 

"Yes it is! It is your body! You're attached to it!" 

"NO IT'S NOT! You want me to fuckin' prove it to you?!" 

"Yes!" 

Tasuki turned around and pulled up his shirt, revealing the name "Makara" carved into his back. 

Kouji gasped. "Holy shit . . ." 

When Tasuki turned back around, he was crying. "It's not mine. It can't be mine. It's got his name on it." 

"Genrou . . ." 

"I wouldn't be this weak," he said, angrily wiping at the tears. "I'm stronger than this. My body gave in. I didn't want to. It betrayed me. It's not ME! It's not mine!" He crossed his arms over his stomach, moaning. 

"Genrou! What's wrong?" Kouji asked, leaning forward and putting his hands on Tasuki's shoulders. 

Tasuki retched, vomiting all over Kouji and the bed. 

Kouji acted quickly, pulling Tasuki to the side of the bed and redirecting it to the wooden floor. _We fed him too much too fast_, he thought. 

Tears continued to pour swiftly down Tasuki's face. Kouji put his arm around Tasuki's shoulders, trying to calm him down. 

"This isn't me," Tasuki sobbed. "I wouldn't do this!" He vomited again. 

"It's all right," Kouji told him soothingly. Tasuki leaned on him, crying helplessly. Kouji stroked his hair soothingly. "Shhh, it's okay. You're sick, Genrou. You're very sick. But you're gonna get better, all right? I'll help you." 

"Why? Why bother?!" 

"Because . . . because I care about you, damn it! You died once! I can't let it happen again!" 

Tasuki grew quiet, the sobs slowing. "Why do you care?" 

Kouji sighed, leaning his head against Tasuki's. "You're my fucking best friend, Genrou. You figure it out." 

Tasuki tried to laugh, but nearly ended up vomiting again. 

"You gonna be sick again?" Kouji asked. 

Tasuki took a deep breath, then shook his head. "I think I'm all right." 

Kouji stripped the bed, then covered Tasuki with a clean blanket. "Get some sleep." 

"Kouji?" 

"Yeah?" 

"Sorry I upchucked all over ya . . ." 

Kouji half-smiled. "Don't worry about it. Just get some rest." 

~~~


	5. Touched

Breaking Point  
by Kimura  
Chapter 5 - Touched 

When Tasuki woke up the next day, the mess from the night before had been cleaned up. Kouji came in. 

"Hey," he said softly, pulling a chair beside the bed. "How're you feeling?" 

Tasuki shrugged. 

"You hungry?" 

Tasuki shook his head. 

Kouji looked at him carefully, noticing a hunger in his eyes that hadn't been as prominent before. _He needs me to be his friend right now_, Kouji thought. _Not his doctor. _He reached out his hand to tousle his hair gently, but Tasuki flinched away from the gesture. Kouji bit his lip. _That was the wrong move. _

"You just don't feel like talkin' today?" he asked quietly. 

Tasuki shook his head, looking a little embarrassed. 

"That's okay," Kouji told him. "You don't have to." He paused. "You probably haven't talked much in a while anyway." 

_Guess that leaves conversation up to me_, Kouji thought. _Hell, since when have I had a problem with that? _

"Tyoushi and I figured that we probably fed you a bit much yesterday," Kouji started out. "That's why you got sick. Did they feed you anything besides water and rice?" 

Tasuki shook his head, looking a little uncomfortable. 

"Okay, we'll just start you out slow and you'll be fine." 

Tasuki looked up at him again, that same hunger more desperate in his eyes than before. 

Kouji leaned forward. "What, Genrou? What is it? What do you need? Tell me, please." 

Tasuki turned away, shrugging. 

"You don't know, do you," Kouji said, more to himself than anyone else. He wanted to touch his friend and comfort him, but the redhead didn't seem to want physical contact. Kouji sighed, frustrated. _He's miserable and there's nothing I can do about it_, he thought. He sighed again, standing up. "I'm gonna go dig up some food for both of us. I'll be back in a minute." 

As he turned to leave, Tasuki's hand shot out and grabbed Kouji's wrist. 

Kouji turned, only to see that the look in Tasuki's eyes was close to hysterical. 

"Hey, shh," he said soothingly, sitting back down. "It's okay. I won't leave if you don't want me to." 

Tasuki released his wrist and relaxed only a fraction. 

Kouji again slowly reached out his hand, but Tasuki still jerked away. 

"Genrou, you're safe here," Kouji reassured him. "No one's gonna hurt you." 

Tasuki didn't reply. 

~~~

"You sure this won't make him sick?" Kouji asked, holding a tray of food. 

"It's just a simple broth," Tyoushi answered. "His stomach should be able to handle it. Just feed him that and some rice and he'll be fine. He must be hungry." 

Kouji sighed. "If he is, I wouldn't know." 

Tyoushi frowned. "Why not? Is he still not talking about his health?" 

"It's not that. Today he just doesn't feel like talking at all." 

Tyoushi nodded. "I guess we should expect that kind of thing." 

"There's something else," Kouji said slowly, unsure of how to phrase his thoughts. "He won't let me touch him either. He's terrified; I know he is. I keep telling him he's safe, but I don't think my words are really getting through. I just wanna comfort him, but he won't let me." 

Tyoushi thought for a minute. "I think I know why. Put yourself in his shoes. For the past three months, any time someone touches you, it's to hit you, hold you back, hold you down, or force you to do something you don't want to." 

Kouji nodded. "I should've thought of that. What should I do? Should I force him?" 

"I'm not sure, Kouji. I'm not an expert. I'd think it would probably do him good. I'd start slow, though." 

Kouji nodded. "Thanks, Tyoushi." He went into Tasuki's room, carrying the tray. He had managed to get Tasuki to take a much-needed nap. Kouji was relieved he was still asleep. He tried set the tray down as quietly as possible, but the slight noise caused Tasuki to wake. 

"I brought you some food," Kouji said cheerfully. 

Tasuki looked nervous. 

"It's okay," Kouji told him. "Tyoushi said this won't make you sick." Tasuki still looked unsure. "You've gotta be hungry, Genrou. C'mon, I'll help you." Kouji helped Tasuki sit up and handed him the bowl of broth. "It'll help you get your strength back, Gen-chan." 

Tasuki tried to hold it, but his hands shook so badly he nearly dropped it. Kouji reached out and steadied it, helping him hold it and drink. Tasuki looked ashamed, but after the first taste realized just how hungry he was. 

"Easy, Gen, don't eat it too fast." 

They managed to get through lunch without any major mishaps. Kouji set the tray aside. 

"You feeling any better?" 

Tasuki shrugged. 

"You think you can let Tyoushi take a look at you?" 

After a minute, Tasuki nodded. Kouji stood and opened the door for the doctor. 

Tyoushi smiled warmly. He decided it would be better not to say anything, since he knew Tasuki wouldn't respond. He carefully pulled the blankets back and started to examine his patient. He winced as he looked over Tasuki's legs, which were severely bruised. 

Kouji watched the examination, his face clouded with anger. _That bastard Makara . . . what the fuck did he do this for? _

Tasuki winced a little at Tyoushi's probing. 

Tyoushi frowned as he examined Tasuki's ankle. There was an odd bump that stuck out from where it should normally be. Trying to be as gentle as he could, he felt it over, trying to determine what had caused it. 

"Genrou, did you break your ankle?" 

Tasuki shrugged. 

"Did you land on it wrong one day? Did it hurt a lot?" 

Tasuki nodded. 

"Shit," Tyoushi muttered. "It didn't set straight. It's healing incorrectly." 

Tasuki looked alarmed. 

"Is there any way to fix it?" Kouji asked anxiously. 

Tyoushi nodded. "Yes, but it's not pleasant. I'd have to break the bone again and reset it myself." 

Unable to help it, Tasuki started shaking. 

"I'll leave you two to talk it over. He'd probably be able to walk on it if I don't reset it, but I'm not how much else he'd be able to do." Tyoushi quickly evacuated the room. 

"Whoa, whoa, easy, Gen-chan," Kouji said smoothly, sitting on the edge of the bed. "You don't have to, if you don't want to." 

Tasuki shook his head violently, starting to cry. 

Kouji reached out to hug his friend and Tasuki flinched at the touch. 

"Shh," Kouji told him, stroking his hair gently. "I would never hit you, Genrou," he said emphatically. "You know that. No one here wants to hurt you. I know it's hard, but you can trust me." He continued running his fingers through his friend's hair. 

Tasuki lay still, letting him do it. Kindness had become a word without meaning to him, but here was his best friend, teaching him all over again. The tears fell silently. After a minute, he scooted up the bed a little, putting his head in Kouji's lap. 

_Thank God_, Kouji thought. _He's finally starting to trust me again._ "Shhh, it's all right, Gen-chan. You'll be okay. We'll get through this together." 

"Stupid, stupid," Tasuki sobbed. 

"No, no you're not stupid, Genrou. Anyone who'd been through what you have . . ." He trailed off, not wanting to go into details and upset him further. _Of course, I don't even know the details. _Tasuki's shoulders were heaving with the hard sobs. "Shhh," Kouji told him. "It's all right now. It's all over." 

"I just wanna die," he moaned. 

"Genrou, don't say that!" Kouji cried, shocked. "Everything can be the way it was, it's just gonna take time." 

Tasuki quieted. "I want to fix my ankle." 

"Genrou, are you sure?" 

He nodded. 

"Right now?" 

"Yeah," Tasuki answered shakily. 

Kouji nodded slowly. He stood up, easing Tasuki's head off his lap and sticking his head out the door. 

"Is he all right?" Tyoushi asked anxiously. 

"He's doing better," Kouji replied. "He wants you to fix his ankle." 

"Now?" the doctor asked incredulously. 

Kouji nodded. "I thought he might want to wait, but I think he just wants to get it over with." 

"Okay then," Tyoushi answered, going back into the room. "Okay, first, we need to get you turned over. So you don't hurt yourself anymore, let Kouji and me help you." Between the three of them, they gently turned Tasuki onto his stomach. He was shivering slightly. 

"You sure about this?" Kouji asked one last time. 

Tasuki, his face unusually pale, nodded. 

Kouji gripped his hand. "Squeeze as hard as you need to, kid." 

Tasuki nodded, closing his eyes. 

Tyoushi examined the ankle carefully, then took it into his hands. "Ready?" 

Tasuki nodded. 

"On three. One." 

Tasuki clutched the pillow with his free hand. 

"Two. Three." Tyoushi snapped the bone in two. 

Tasuki screamed, crushing Kouji's hand. 

Kouji knelt beside him, hugging him from behind. "Shhh, it's almost over, Gen-chan. It's okay." 

Tyoushi set the bone into its proper place and splinted it to keep it there. "Man, you've gotta be one of the bravest people I know, Genrou. I'll be back in a minute." He quickly left the room. 

"Shh, it's okay, Gen-chan. You did great. You'll be fine now. It's okay." 

Tasuki tried to push away the memories the pain brought back. He could hear Makara's taunting voice and the laughter of the guards. "No," he moaned. "No more . . ." 

"It's okay, Genrou. It's over. The pain will go away. You'll be all right." 

Kouji's voice started to come through the cacophony of memories. _I'm not there anymore_, Tasuki told himself firmly. _I'm free from Makara . . . Kouji wouldn't lie to me. _He shook his head slightly, trying to come back to reality. 

Kouji watched as a little of the tension drained from Tasuki. _He must be exhausted_, he thought. _This's been one helluva day. _

Tyoushi came back in, relieved to see that Tasuki had calmed a little. "I brought him something to help with the pain," he said, holding a small bowl. 

Kouji nodded and helped Tasuki roll back over onto his back. He sat up very slowly and drank the proffered broth. 

"It will obviously take some time to heal," Tyoushi continued. "But your legs need the time to recover. In a few days, we'll start to some exercises to get them back into shape." 

"How long before I can walk again?" Tasuki asked hoarsely, his eyes still red. 

Tyoushi fidgeted. "I'm not sure. It depends on how well the rest of your body can recover. Don't underestimate the amount of damage that's been done to you. You need time." He took the bowl back from Tasuki and excused himself. 

Tasuki laid back down. 

Kouji reached out to smooth his fiery hair. "You okay?" 

Tasuki closed his eyes. 

"You can do this, Genrou. We'll make it through this together, I promise." 

Tasuki nodded, his eyes still shut. 

~~~

"Tyoushi, we need to talk," Kouji said, pulling his friend aside later that night. 

"Is Genrou all right?" Tyoushi asked. 

"He's asleep. Look, earlier, you didn't sound too sure about Genrou being able to walk again," he said, getting right to the point. 

Tyoushi looked away. "Kouji, I'm not a fucking expert. I'm not sure. But . . . there's probably a lot of damage to his body on the inside, where we can't see it. It's a fifty-fifty shot he'll be able to walk again. I just . . . I just didn't want to tell him that." 

Kouji sighed, closing his eyes. "God, if he knew that . . ." 

"But his physical healing process will be easier if he starts healing mentally. I'm not trying to put pressure on you, I'm just stating it as a fact." 

Kouji nodded, opening his eyes. "I know. I'm workin' on it." He started to go back to Tasuki's a room, a little unsteady on his feet. 

"Kouji." 

"Nani?" 

Tyoushi reached out a hand and stopped him. "Get some rest. It'll do him no good if you get sick." 

Kouji looked at his friend and saw the plain concern written on his face. He sighed again. "All right, all right. I'll get some sleep." 

~~~


	6. Nightmares

_For those of you wondering, this is not yaoi or shonen ai. I have nothing against Tasuki/Kouji yaoi, but I just don't write it. ^_^ I like reading it, though. =P I'm trying to pace my posting so more people will read it. ^_^ Arigatou for the reviews!_

Breaking Point  
by Kimura  
Chapter 6 - Nightmares 

Kouji had just drifted off to sleep when he was suddenly awaked by loud screams. _Genrou_, he thought immediately. _God, what if something's happened?!_ Instantly awake, he leapt out of bed and sprinted down the hall. He threw open the door. 

Tasuki was lying in bed, tossing and turning. 

Kouji breathed a sigh of relief and shut the door after himself. 

Tasuki screamed again. 

Kouji winced. He'd never heard his friend in that much pain before. He quickly went to his side and shook his shoulder. "Wake up, Gen-chan, it's a dream." 

Tasuki's eyes fluttered open. "K-Kouji?" 

Kouji sat on the bed. "It's me, Genrou. It was just a dream." 

Tasuki looked around the room, as if expecting an enemy to jump out at him. "M-Makara . . ." 

"No, he's gone, Genrou. You're safe now." He rubbed Tasuki's shoulder gently. "It's okay, Gen-chan." 

Tasuki laid back down, trying to get his breathing back to normal. 

Kouji looked at him carefully. _He's trying so hard to be strong_, he thought. "You want me to leave?" 

"N-No," Tasuki answered shakily. "Onegai . . ." 

"It's all right. I'll stay," he said quickly. He paused for a minute. "Genrou . . . you know I'd never laugh at you, ne?" 

Tasuki nodded silently, finally releasing the pent-up tears. 

"You wanna talk about it?" Kouji asked. 

Tasuki shook his head. 

Kouji sighed. _I'm gonna have to get him to talk about it sometime_, he thought. _I'm just afraid of pushing him right now. I don't think he could take it. Shit, I'm not some kind of expert on this stuff . . . I don't know what to do! _He sighed again, pulling Tasuki into his arms. He knew, no matter what, that Tasuki could never learn of his uncertainty. He put total confidence in Kouji, a thought that was not very comforting. _But he's so frightened that he can't do anything else. _He held his friend tightly, trying to forget his own problems and concentrate of making Tasuki whole again. 

~~~

Tasuki lay awake in bed the next night. Kouji and most of the others were out on a raid. Part of him wished he could have gone, but the other part wasn't so sure. He'd seen enough blood and violence for a while. They had left in the early evening. Tasuki had tried to keep track of the time by watching the sky out the window, but it was hard to tell how long it had been after the sun had set completely. He was starting to get worried. It felt like forever since Kouji had left. 

_What if something happened? _he thought. _What if Kouji's hurt?_ Tasuki felt panic starting to set in. _Anything could have happened . . . it's all because I wasn't there with the tessen . . . I could've helped them, if only I could fucking walk! I've got to . . . I've got to do something. I can't just sit here. If Kouji's hurt . . . if they've all been killed . . . Makara could find me! _Tasuki rolled over the side of the bed, onto the floor with a thud. He tried to pull himself to his feet, but his legs wouldn't hold him. "Kouji," he gasped out. He pulled himself over to the wall, using his arms and yanked the tessen down from a chair. Then he dragged himself over to the door, trying to get it open. Just as he had nearly succeeded, there was a knock. 

Tasuki scrambled away from it, his back against the bed, holding the tessen out in front of him. "Stay back!" 

"Genrou?" Kouji asked softly, opening the door. 

Tasuki cried out in relief, hugging Kouji's legs. 

"Genrou, what the hell happened?!" Kouji asked, kneeling beside Tasuki and hugging him. 

"I thought . . . I thought something went wrong . . . you wouldn't come back . . ." Tasuki babbled as tears trickled down his cheeks. 

"Hey, it's okay. I'm fine, we're all fine. It was a piece of cake. It's all right now." 

Tasuki shook his head, feverish memories and visions started to form before his eyes. He screamed, pulling away from Kouji. 

"Genrou?! What is it?!" Kouji cried, trying to calm his hysterical friend. 

"GET AWAY FROM ME! LEAVE ME ALONE!" 

_The guards leered at him, leaning in closer to unlock the chains and take him to Makara. _

"NO! I won't go!" Tasuki screamed. No matter how hard he tried to avoid their grasp, they always captured him, dragging him to his feet. "NOOO!" 

One of the guards landed a blow to his stomach. "Shut up, whelp." 

Tasuki almost welcomed the blow, praying that the guards would beat him to unconsciousness so he wouldn't have to endure The Torture. 

When Tasuki still struggled and was rewarded with another hit, he was told, "That's it, no food for at least two days." 

I don't care, _Tasuki thought. _I'd rather die than endure another second of torture._ Despite his resistance, the guards managed to drag him to the room where Makara was waiting impatiently. _

"That took longer than necessary," he snapped. 

Tasuki tried not to shiver, not be afraid, but now it was impossible. His brain equated Makara with pain and caused an involuntary reaction of fear and revulsion. 

Kouji slapped Tasuki across the face. 

Tasuki looked around his room, disoriented, panting, and sweating. 

"Genrou, can you hear me?" Kouji asked. 

Slowly, Tasuki nodded. He locked his eyes with Kouji's. Gradually, the nightmare faded. 

"What did you see, Genrou?" Kouji asked. "What scared you?" 

Tasuki shivered violently. 

Kouji hugged him. "It's over now. It'll help you to talk about it." 

"Th-the g-g-guards." 

"They hurt you." 

Tasuki nodded. "I wanted them to." 

"What?! What for?!" 

"So they'd knock me out so Makara would leave me alone . . ." 

Kouji paused, praying that Tasuki would go just a little further. "Genrou, what did he do to you?" 

Tasuki's shaking intensified. "No! Aniki, please . . ." He sobbed into Kouji's shoulder, unable to control himself. 

_Damn_, Kouji thought. _Too soon. _"It's all right. You don't have to talk about it until you're ready. Whatever you saw, Gen-chan, it wasn't real." _There's got to be some way to find out what happened. I need to know. _

"Don't leave, Aniki . . ." 

"Shh, I won't. C'mon." He carefully lifted Tasuki up, laying back in bed and smoothing the covers over him. "Shh, sleep, sleep. I'll be right here." He watched as Tasuki slowly calmed, then slept from sheer exhaustion. 

Kouji sat thinking for a while, then returned to his room, having worked out a plan. 

~~~

The next morning, Kouji called Himoto to the Leaders' Room after breakfast. 

"You wanted to see me?" Himoto asked. 

Kouji nodded. "I need to know what they did to Genrou." 

Himoto gulped. "Are you sure you want to hear this?" 

Kouji nodded again. 

Himoto focused on the floor. "Well . . . for the first week, the guards just beat the shit out of him. They drugged him at first, but by the end of the week, they didn't need to. He was pretty weak. Then Makara started to work on him. He . . . he had a stone . . . I don't know where he got it. But it had dark powers. When he experimented with it, he discovered it could cause pain. After years of experimenting, he began to build a machine to harness its power and aim it." 

"So, he had it when he was with us?" 

"Yes, he did. He guarded the secret with his life. But he didn't start building the machine until he left Reikaku. That's why he wanted control. He wanted your help to complete the project. When that failed, he recruited his own men and I was one of them. Anyway, the Machine was a success. He was able to use the Stone to send a beam of pain to whatever part of the body it was aimed at." 

"Did it cause physical damage?" 

"No, that's the weird part. All of Genrou's physical damage was the work of the guards. The Machine doesn't leave any marks at all. It's . . . it's an evil magic." 

Kouji had paled. "No wonder he's so afraid of the guards." 

Himoto cleared his throat and continued. "Anyway, Makara had apparently already tried to machine on other parts of the body before I joined him. By then, there was only one thing left to try: the head. He wanted to see what kind of effects it would have on the mind. He was hoping ultimately for some kind of mind control. I don't think it was successful in that regard." 

Kouji felt nauseous. "And Genrou was his new guinea pig." 

Himoto nodded. "It seemed like a good idea: get revenge on the Reikaku bandits and complete his experiment at the same time. Anyway, he started working on Genrou. He aimed the machine at his head, causing extreme pain. My job was to record Genrou's reactions. The first day . . ." Himoto shook his head in amazement. "After the initial blast, he didn't make a sound for the rest of the session. He was half-unconscious after Makara finished with him, but he stayed silent. It was unbelievable." 

_Not if you know Genrou_, Kouji thought. 

"He didn't make another sound until the fourth day." 

"And he had a day of rest in between?" 

"No, not at all. When Makara wasn't there . . . I was the one who pulled the trigger." 

Kouji nodded. 

Himoto tried to swallow his guilt, knowing that now was not the time to ask for forgiveness. "Anyway, on day four, he shouted a little bit. When Makara came back on day five and started giving him successively longer blasts, Genrou would shout and curse up a storm. That lasted until day nine. Days nine and ten, he went totally silent again. It was kind of creepy. Then on day eleven . . . he . . . he quietly asked Makara to stop. Makara made him beg, made him scream. But even though Genrou obeyed him, he would still give him a longer blast. I think it just kinda hit Genrou then that it didn't matter what he did; he was still gonna get tortured. And that's when . . . he lost it. He just started screaming. No matter what Makara did, he just kept on screaming. Even when Makara stopped and the guards took him to his cell, he wouldn't stop. He just screamed until he lost his voice in the middle of the night." Himoto stole a glance at Kouji. 

Kouji's back was to him, staring out the window. "Could you make out what he was saying?" 

"Well, most of the time it was just noise. When there were words, it was names. I think I recognized some of them as Suzaku Seishi names. But most of the time, he screamed for you." Himoto had said it quickly, to get it over with. He didn't want to see Kouji's reaction. 

There was a long silence before Kouji told him, "Go on." 

"Well, after that things just got worse. Genrou got weaker and cried more often. The guards got tougher and Makara got a little more insane. The cycle just went on. I was asked to leave after a while because Makara thought I was getting too soft. That's all I know." 

There was a long moment of silence, during which Kouji still did not turn to look at him, "You can leave." 

Himoto made a quick exit. 

Kouji slowly left the room, walking to Tasuki's room. He opened the door quietly, knowing that Tasuki would still be asleep. He closed the door after himself, letting his eyes adjust to the darkened room. He slowly walked to the bed and knelt beside it. 

Kouji leaned his head against the mattress and cried. "Why, Genrou?" he whispered, his shoulders shaking. "Why not me?" 

~~~

Tasuki awoke the next day to discover Kouji asleep on the side of his bed. _Man, he's gonna have one helluva neck cramp when he wakes up_, he thought. He reached out and gently shook Kouji's shoulder. 

The older man stirred, groaned, and slowly raised his head, rubbing his neck. 

Tasuki looked in concern at his pale face and reddened eyes. "You look like shit, man. Go back to your room and sleep." 

Kouji shook his head, struggling to his feet. "I'm fine. You hungry?" 

"Yeah, a little," Tasuki answered, still looking at him worriedly. "Kouji, let someone else get it. At least sit down." 

Kouji again shook his head, starting unsteadily to the door. 

Genrou took a deep breath. _I hate to do this, but it's the only way I'll get him to listen to me_, he thought. 

He carefully added a false waver into his voice. "Kouji . . . don't go. I-I don't wanna be alone . . ." 

Kouji's expression immediately softened and he sat back down on the edge of the bed. "It's all right. I'll stay, if that's what you want." 

Genrou nodded. _Shit, that felt horrible, he thought. If he wasn't so wasted, he woulda seen right through me. Damn it, why is he so stubborn? _

~~~


	7. I Stumble, Then I Crawl

_Enter the monk! And yes, I stole lyrics from Puddle of Mudd for my chapter title. But that's okay because I'm crediting them._

Breaking Point  
by Kimura  
Chapter 7 - I Stumble, Then I Crawl 

Over the next few weeks, Genrou slowly began to recover. As he did so, the nightmares lessened, as did his reliance on Kouji. This alleviated the enormous stress that had been on Kouji and generally made things easier for all of the bandits. 

Kouji was so happy to see his friend getting well again that he barely gave any thought to the fact that Genrou was completely repressing his memories; there was only a vague nagging at the back of his mind that wouldn't leave him alone. 

"Kouji?" Genrou asked brightly one day. 

"Nani?" 

"Can I eat with the other guys today? I've hardly seen them since I've been back!" He thought for a minute. "That's almost a month now." 

Kouji smiled. "I'm sure we can manage that. I think Tyoushi was already working on something." 

Tyoushi had been created some rough crutches that Genrou could use to get around a little. 

"Remember that you're body isn't strong enough for you to use these all the time," Tyoushi told him as he showed Genrou has to use them. "You can just use them to get to meals for now, okay?" 

Genrou nodded eagerly as he started to dash for the door. 

He promptly crashed to the ground. 

"You okay?!" Kouji cried, starting to help him up. 

Genrou grinned. "Guess I'll need practice, ne?" 

Kouji laughed, helping him out the door. 

The bandits were ecstatic to finally see Genrou up and about. They cheered and clapped him on the back, offering several toasts of sake. 

It was then that Genrou saw someone near the back of the room. 

Tasuki screamed, pushing back his chair so hard he tipped it over onto the floor. 

"Genrou, what is it?!" Kouji cried, trying to disentangle the hysterical redhead from the chair. 

"GET HIM AWAY FROM MEEEEE!" Tasuki screamed, still trying to scramble away. 

"Genrou, it's all right. Calm down, no one here is going to hurt you," Kouji soothed, trying to keep him still to stop him from re-injuring himself. 

"NO! GET AWAY!" 

"Everyone, clear the room," Tyoushi said loudly, trying to herd the men away. 

"What the fuck's wrong with him?" one of the bandits shouted. 

"Just get outta here for now," Tyoushi retorted before Kouji could blow up at them. 

"He's g-gonna k-k-kill m-m-me," Tasuki mumbled, shivering violently. 

"Who, Genrou?" Kouji asked. 

"Him!" Tasuki cried, pointing at Himoto. 

"Get him out of here," Kouji told Tyoushi. 

Tyoushi nodded, clearing the last of the bandits out. 

"Genrou, listen to me. Himoto won't hurt you now," Kouji said slowly. "He's one of us. He's the one that led us to you. We wouldn't have found you if it weren't for him." 

"No!" Tasuki yelled, trying to pull away. "He's still working for him! He'll tell Makara where I am!" 

Kouji sighed, scooping Tasuki into his arms and taking him back to his room. 

Tyoushi left through the other door. 

The bandits blocked his way, standing together in a bunch. 

"We want to know what the hell's going on, Tyoushi," one of them said purposefully. 

"It's not my place to tell you," Tyoushi said, trying to push his way through. 

"Why does Genrou think Himoto's gonna kill him?" 

"Because he used to work for Makara," another bandit answered the first. 

"He doesn't belong here!" another cried. 

"Please, guys, let's just stay calm and leave major decisions up to the leaders," Tyoushi shouted above the noise. 

"How can we when they're locked in Genrou's room all day?!" 

"Look, I'll get Kouji to talk to you, okay? Just calm down and . . . drink some sake." Tyoushi went back into the dining hall, exited through the other door, and knocked loudly on Tasuki's door. 

"Just a minute," Kouji answered. He emerged a moment later. "This better be important." 

"The men want to know what's going on. And now they're suspicious of Himoto, too. You've got to talk to them and make a decision." 

Kouji sighed, running a hand through his blue hair. "Shit, like I don't have enough on my hands already. Genrou's fuckin' freaking out and I don't know how to help him! I just . . . I don't know, Tyoushi. I don't know what the FUCK to do anymore!" He slammed his fist angrily into the wall. 

Tyoushi put a hand on his shoulder. "Do you want me to tell them about Genrou?" 

Kouji shook his head. "I need to do it." He closed his eyes, trying to gather himself back together. "I need help with Genrou, I . . ." His eyes lit up. "Get a messenger to the palace immediately. We need to get Chichiri here. He can help." 

Tyoushi nodded. "I'll send someone right away." At that, he turned and walked briskly down the hall. 

Kouji took a deep breath before returning to Tasuki's room. 

The former seishi was curled into a tight shivering ball, mumbling incoherently. 

Kouji approached him quietly, silent tears sliding down his scarred face. He softly stroked Tasuki's hair, unable to do anything else. Words were utterly useless; Tasuki couldn't hear him anymore. 

Tasuki whimpered at the touch, afraid of being hurt. 

"Shhh," Kouji whispered. He carefully covered Tasuki with a blanket and hummed quietly to get him to sleep. 

But the tortured younger bandit could not be comforted that night. 

~~~

Kouji took a deep breath. "Men, Genrou is sick. During his time with Makara, he was tortured. I can't go into any details. But it's going to take some time for him to get better. I'm sorry I haven't been around more lately, but Genrou needed my help. It hasn't been easy for me to keep things balanced. I ask all of you to be as patient as you can." 

"What about Himoto?" a bandit near the back of the room asked. 

"He's going to be dismissed, for safety's sake," Kouji answered. 

The bandits seemed appeased and slowly left the room in groups. Himoto and Kouji were left alone. 

"I'm sorry about this," Kouji began. 

"Don't be," Himoto said, managing a smile. "I should've realized something like this would happen." 

"You come back if Makara gives you any trouble." 

Himoto nodded. "I will." 

~~~

_Two days later . . . _

There was a knock on Chichiri's door. 

"Who is it no da?" the monk called cheerfully, quickly donning his smiling mask. 

"A messenger has arrived for you. He claims it's urgent. He is awaiting you in the stables." 

Chichiri blinked. "All right no da. Tell him I'll be right there." He picked up his kesa, wrapping it around himself and made his way to the stables, trying to think who would be calling him. 

"Chichiri-sama," the bandit said, bowing. 

"What's going on no da? Who is the message from?" 

"It's from the leaders of the Mt. Reikaku bandits." 

_Tasuki_, Chichiri realized. _Is he hurt?_ "What's happened no da?" 

"Genrou is ill and Kouji asked you to come back with me to help him get well again." 

"Of course no da. We can leave immediately." 

~~~

"Genrou, just calm down!" Kouji cried. 

Tasuki struggled desperately as Tyoushi and Kouji tried to hold him down. 

"Easy, easy, we won't hurt you," Kouji said, trying to calm him. 

"This isn't gonna work, Kouji," Tyoushi gasped out. "There's no way he'll sit still long enough to eat." 

Kouji sighed. "All right, let him go." 

The two men released Tasuki, who curled back into a ball. 

Kouji sat beside him, rubbing his shoulder soothingly. He was the only one that Tasuki would allow within a few feet of him. 

"What happened, Tyoushi?" Kouji asked hoarsely. "Why is he doing this? I thought he was getting better . . ." 

Tyoushi sighed. "I don't know, Kouji. I just don't know. But if we can't get some food into him, he won't last much longer." He quietly left the two alone. 

Kouji leaned over and picked up a small bowl of water from the bedside table. He held it out in front of Tasuki. 

Tasuki pulled away a little. 

"It won't hurt you, Gen-chan," Kouji told him. To prove his point, he took a small sip. When he again held out the bowl, Tasuki drank a little. 

Kouji gradually coaxed him to drink the whole bowl -- very slowly since he hadn't drunk anything in two days. 

_Thank God_, Kouji thought. _Maybe I'm finally getting through again._ "You've just gotta come back, Genrou. You can't stay like this. You're stronger than that." Kouji swallowed hard before a lump could rise in his throat. To his surprise, Tasuki had moved a little closer to him and was leaning against his side. Kouji softly smoothed the disheveled hair from his face. 

"You did good, kid," he whispered, kissing the top of Tasuki's head lightly. "You did good." 

~~~

Another two days later . . . 

Chichiri was brought straight to the Leaders' Room as soon as he arrived. 

"Konnichiwa, Kouji no da," Chichiri said, trying to hide his impatience. 

"Chichiri-sama --" 

The monk held up his hand. "There's no need for such formalities no da." 

Kouji nodded. "You might want to sit down." 

Chichiri sat, noticing the grave look on Kouji's face. 

Kouji took a deep breath. "Four months ago, Genrou was kidnapped by rival bandits. They faked his death to keep us off their trail. Three months ago, we captured one of them and discovered that Genrou was still alive and being held not too far from our headquarters. When we rescued him . . ." Kouji's throat grew suddenly tight. 

"Take your time no da," Chichiri said gently. 

Kouji swallowed hard. "They tortured him. The guards beat him and their leader used some kind of strange machine on him. It took him a while, but over the past month he's been recovering. The enemy bandit we captured asked to join us and I allowed it, since he had led us to Genrou. Four days ago, Genrou was having his first meal back with the guys when --" 

"He saw the enemy bandit," Chichiri interrupted. 

Kouji nodded. "I don't know what happened . . . he just totally lost it. I . . ." Kouji stood, staring out the window and carefully keeping his back to Chichiri. "I just don't know what to do anymore. We only barely managed to get a little food and water into him. He won't let anyone near him 'cept me. I just . . ." Kouji noticed that his hands were shaking and quickly balled them into fists to make them stop. It didn't help. 

Chichiri stood a took a few steps closer, uncertainly. "I'll do everything I can no da. Can I see him?" 

"Of course," Kouji said in a voice higher than he intended. He moved past Chichiri and opened the door. "I'm hoping that seeing you might snap him out of this . . . whatever it is," he explained as they walked down the hall. 

"I hope so too no da," the blue-haired Seishi answered. 

Kouji stopped outside Tasuki's door. Slowly, he turned to face Chichiri. "Listen, he . . . this whole thing has seriously screwed him up. He might not remember you at all. But he's scared shitless of everyone, so don't get offended. I --" 

Chichiri put a hand on the bandit's shoulder, silencing him. "I understand no da." 

Kouji nodded and slowly opened the door. He gasped, seeing the empty bed. "Genrou?" He looked around the room frantically. "Genrou?!" 

Chichiri grabbed Kouji's arm, stopping him. "Listen no da." 

Kouji froze. 

The sound of whimpering just barely breached the tense silence. 

Kouji slowly walked around the bed, seeing Tasuki curled into a corner. "You scared the shit out of me," he admonished gently as he slowly approached his friend. "Kuso, you're freezing! How long've you been outta bed?" he asked, touching Tasuki's arm. He carefully picked up the younger man, laying him back in the bed and wrapping blankets around him. 

Chichiri watched the scene in amazement, impressed by Kouji's ability to handle his friend. 

Once Tasuki was again settled, Kouji motioned for Chichiri to come all the way into the room. 

The monk slowly did so, praying that Suzaku would let Tasuki remember him. 

Tasuki stared at his fellow seishi for a long moment. 

Kouji held his breath. 

"Ch-Chichiri?" Tasuki asked tentatively. 

"It's me no da," the monk answered, taking a few steps closer. 

Kouji breathed a large sigh of relief. 

Tasuki closed his eyes, as if trying to get his bearings. 

Kouji put a hand on his shoulder. "Are you all right?" 

"I feel . . . weird . . ." Tasuki answered. 

"You may need some more rest no da," Chichiri suggested. 

Kouji nodded. "That sounds like a good idea. You . . . want me to stay with you?" 

Tasuki looked up at Chichiri. 

"Kouji told me what happened no da," Chichiri said, answering the unasked question. 

Tasuki looked back at Kouji and nodded, lying down. 

"I'll have someone show you to your room. You must be tired after your long ride," Kouji said, opening the door for the monk. 

A minute later, he closed the door and returned to Tasuki's bedside. 

"I'm sorry to put you in this situation, Genrou, but I didn't know who else to ask," Kouji said immediately. 

"Forget it," Tasuki answered. "I'm glad he's here. And I'm glad you told him." 

"What happened?" the older bandit asked seriously. 

"I . . . I don't know," Tasuki answered, shivering slightly. He rolled onto his side. "I don't want to talk about it right now." 

Kouji sighed, nodding._ It's best not to push him, I guess. _

~~~

Two days later . . . 

Kouji stopped Chichiri in the hallway before he could knock on Tasuki's door. "Chichiri, do you have any idea what happened to him? What caused him to flip out?" 

Chichiri sighed deeply, removing his mask. "I think so no da. But you're not going to like it." 

"It doesn't matter whether I like it or not!" Kouji cried indignantly. "I don't care what it takes to make him better! I'll do it!" 

"He's repressing his memories no da," Chichiri said in a lower voice, in case Tasuki could hear them through the door. "He refuses to talk about it. And no offense, but you're not helping no da. Whenever he gets upset, you immediately want to calm him down." The monk put a hand on the bandit's shoulder. "You have done an incredible job with him no da. You're just remarkable around him. You stayed with him when he needed you the most. Many other people wouldn't have been able to last this long. But now that he's healing, he needs to talk about what happened and come to terms with it." 

Kouji stared at the Suzaku Seishi for a long moment, then nodded. "What you're sayin' makes sense. I just . . . I just wanted him to feel better. I wasn't thinking about the fact that he didn't talk about it . . ." 

"It's all right no da. I think I have an idea that might work." 

"I'm listenin'." 

"I think it might help him if he spent a little time away from Reikaku. It's awkward for him to be here where everyone looks up to him. He needs a break from the pressure. I think if he was away from here, he might feel a bit more comfortable talking about what happened." 

Kouji looked alarmed. "Are you sure he's ready for that?" 

"I think so no da. I'll be with him. He's physically ready. The fresh air will do him good anyway." 

Kouji still looked unsure. 

Chichiri put a hand on his shoulder. "I'll take care of him no da. I won't let anything happen to him." 

Kouji lowered his head, a small smile on his face. "I know he's ready. I'm just not sure I'm ready." 

Chichiri smiled. "We can wait a few days no da, so you can used to the idea." 

Kouji nodded. 

~~~


	8. Escape

_Chichiri the psychiatrist . . . _

Breaking Point  
by Kimura  
Chapter 8 - Escape

_A few days later . . . _

Kouji hugged Genrou tightly. "Take care of yourself." 

"Yes, mother," Genrou teased. 

Kouji smiled, but his stomach was tying itself in knots. 

Genrou slung his pack over his shoulder and followed Chichiri down the trail. Kouji watched until they were out of sight. 

"So, where are we going?" Genrou asked brightly. 

"Wherever we want no da," Chichiri answered with a smile. "Wanderers don't have to have a set destination." 

Genrou nodded. "Cool." 

"Let me know if you get too tired no da." 

Genrou rolled his eyes. "Don't turn into Kouji on me, man." 

"Kouji's just worried about you no da." 

"He worries too much." 

"Think about how he found you no da. He nursed you back to health. You have to forgive him for being overprotective." 

Genrou shivered. 

Chichiri looked sideways at him, concerned. "You all right no da?" 

Genrou shook the memories off and forced a smile. "Yeah, I'm fine." 

"If there's anything you need to talk about --" 

"I said I'm fine," Genrou replied, trying to keep the impatience out of his voice. 

Chichiri didn't push him. He knew timing was crucial and now was not the time to force his friend to talk. He sighed, hoping that he could play his cards right. 

~~~

Tasuki cried out in his sleep. "No! Leave me alone!" 

Chichiri awoke, confused by the noise. He looked around, then gently shook Tasuki's shoulder. "Tasuki-kun, it's just a dream." 

"NO! Don't touch me!" Tasuki shouted, pushing the monk away. 

"Tasuki, it's all right no da." 

Tasuki opened his eyes, sitting up quickly. 

"It's all right, Tasuki-kun," Chichiri said softly, rubbing the redhead's arm. 

Tasuki looked around, as if looking for possible attackers. Once he assessed that the woods were safe, his breathing began to slow. "G-Gomen --" 

"Don't apologize no da. Daijoubu." He watched the bandit carefully as his breathing returned to normal. His eyes were still darting about a little nervously. "Do you want to talk about it no da?" 

"No," Genrou replied immediately. "I'm fine. Sorry to wake you up." He quickly laid back down. 

Chichiri sighed inwardly._ This is not going to be easy no da. _

~~~

"You sure we're not headin' anywhere in particular?" Genrou asked as he and Chichiri walked around a day later. "This place seems kind of familiar." 

Chichiri shrugged. "I didn't have anywhere in mind no da." 

Genrou looked around, trying to place the surroundings._ It's just been too long since I've been out here_, he thought. _It'll come back to me a few minutes. I've been cooped up for too damn long --_

Tasuki stopped dead, staring at what was in front of him. 

Chichiri stood quietly beside him, awaiting his reaction. 

He was quite displeased when Tasuki turned and punched him across the face. 

The monk was caught so off guard that he lost his balance and fell to the ground. 

"FUCK YOU!" Tasuki screamed, tears pouring down his face. "The FUCK you didn't know where we were going!" The redhead turned away from the bridge he'd fallen off four months ago. 

Chichiri quickly jumped to his feet and grabbed the bandit's arm. "You've been running from the truth for too long no da. Now you're going to face it." 

"Fuck you!" Tasuki shouted, squirming out of Chichiri's grasp. "It's my life, so you stay the hell out of it!" 

When Chichiri reached out again, Tasuki broke into a run. The monk caught up to him before he could gain much momentum and wrestled him to the ground. 

By this point, Tasuki was crying so hard he couldn't put up much of a fight. "What do you want from me!? Just leave me ALONE!" 

The monk had his wrists pinned to the ground and was leaning over him. "I don't want to hurt you no da. But you've got to talk about this. It's killing you!" 

Anger again flared up in the bandit. "FUCK YOU! LET ME GO!" 

Swiftly, before Tasuki could use the chance to escape, Chichiri used one hand to remove his mask. A few tears were trickling down his own face. Having to do this to his friend was killing him. 

Tasuki struggled more desperately than before. Chichiri had to use his magic to help keep the bandit down. "Let me GO! You don't know what they did to me! You don't KNOW!" 

"Then TELL me no da! Please!" 

"NO!" 

"If you don't try, no da, Makara wins. You'll never get over what he did to you and it will haunt you forever. If you want to defeat him, you've got to come to terms with it." 

Another course of sobs racked the bandit's frame. "I can't!" 

"Yes you can no da! I'll help you!" 

"NO! I CAN'T!" 

"You're not going anywhere until you talk no da. I could keep you here all night." 

"Kouji," Tasuki whimpered softly. 

"He can't help you no da. You need to face this." 

Tasuki met Chichiri's eye. "I HATE YOU! I FUCKING HATE YOU!" 

The monk remained calm. "It's not me you hate, no da. Who do you hate?" 

After struggling for a minute, Tasuki gasped out, "Makara!" 

"Why? What's the worst thing he did to you?" 

Tasuki continued to struggle, then shouted, "He killed him!" He burst into even harder sobs. "He killed him." 

The monk at last released the bandit and tried to soothe him. "Who no da? Who did he kill?" 

"One of th-th-the g-guards tried to help me . . ." Tasuki sobbed, his face brick red from the exertion. "After Makara carved his name into my b-back . . . he found out and . . . he killed him! He FUCKING killed him! Right in front of me! He was only trying to help me . . . why did he do it?" 

Chichiri held his friend tightly. "Shhh, no da. Shhh, it's over now." 

Thank God, the blue-haired seishi thought. _That's the first step._ He silently held Tasuki until he cried himself to sleep. 

~~~

Chichiri awoke in the middle of the night. He couldn't figure out what had woken him until he realized that Tasuki was gone. 

He jumped to his feet, sensing for his fellow seishi's chi. He swallowed hard as he followed the chi down to the bridge. 

The bandit was sitting on the side of the stone bridge, his legs dangling over the side. Silent tears tracked down his handsome face. 

"Tasuki-kun?" 

The redhead did not reply. 

Chichiri slowly came up beside him. "What're you doing no da?" 

The bandit smirked. "Going to back to where everything started. Isn't that what you wanted me to do? I'm facing it, aren't I?" 

"No, I don't think you are no da." 

Tasuki looked down at the swirling waters. "I could end it all right here." 

Chichiri tensed. "Why no da?" 

"Because I'm tired, damn it. I'm tired of fighting this thing." 

"You're not in this alone no da. Kouji and I can help you. Look at how far you've come already." 

"Oh yeah, I still cry myself to sleep every night. That's real fucking progress!" 

"You can't judge by that no da --" 

"NO! Enough! I can't take it anymore! Just leave me alone and let me die!" 

"I can't do that no da," Chichiri said softly. "I promised Kouji I'd take care of you." 

Tasuki winced at the sound of his friend's name. His death would kill Kouji. _But I just can't do this anymore! _He moved a little closer to the edge. 

"Tasuki. You are a Suzaku Seishi. You can't kill yourself. The others all died fighting for what was right and they expect no less of you. You can't give up! Fight for them and Kouji, if you won't for yourself!" 

Tasuki shook his head, not listening. "It's over." 

"You can win no da! You can go back to the way you were. It's just going to take time. Don't give up now!" 

"SHUT UP!" Tasuki screamed. "I'm tired, okay?! I can't do it! And I'm tired of everyone pushing me! Just leave me ALONE!" He pushed himself off the bridge, welcoming the feeling of the air around him. 

Chichiri grabbed his wrist and he slammed into the side of the stone bridge, bringing him rudely back to reality. Tasuki winced, re-injuring his healing ribs. "Fuck!" 

The monk used his magic to pull the stunned bandit back onto the bridge. Angrily, he forced Tasuki back to the campsite and tied him securely to a tree. He ignored the curses the redhead screamed into the early hours of the morning. 

~~~

By the time Chichiri began fixing breakfast, Tasuki had lost his voice completely. He refused to eat anything Chichiri gave him. The monk just sighed and waited patiently. 

"I'll let you go once you promise to not to kill yourself no da," the blue-haired seishi said simply. 

It was another three hours before Tasuki finally whispered, "I promise I won't kill myself. I give my word as a seishi." 

Satisfied, Chichiri untied him and gave him some food and water. The two remained silent for a long time. 

Chichiri knew the bandit would talk when he was ready and able. He didn't need to push him now. 

It wasn't until after dinner, that conversation started again. Tasuki still had to talk very softly. 

"How are we going to do this?" Tasuki asked. 

"One step at a time," Chichiri told him gently. "I want you to tell me as much as you can about what happened so you can learn to deal with it. You'll only get better if you acknowledge that it happened no da." 

Tasuki nodded, keeping his eyes on the fire. "Do I have to tonight?" 

"No, no da," Chichiri told him. "You just rest tonight." 

Tasuki shivered in the fading light. Chichiri silently removed his kesa and wrapped around the redhead's shoulders. 

The two again lapsed into silent and watched the sun be replaced by the stars. 

~~~

Chichiri watched Tasuki carefully the next morning, waiting for him to speak. The bandit waited until after breakfast. The tension in his body could be clearly seen. Every muscle was on edge and he was unable to sit still. 

"Tasuki-kun," Chichiri said once they had eaten. "Lie down no da." 

Tasuki looked at him, obviously on guard. "What for?" 

The monk sighed a little. "So you can relax, baka." 

"Oh," the bandit replied, feeling a little stupid. He laid down on the grass, feeling the slight incline on his back. He closed his eyes. 

"Just relax no da and breathe slowly." 

Tasuki did as he was told, glad at not having to talk much yet. 

"Listen to the sounds around you no da. Listen to your body, your heartbeat." 

The tension left Tasuki's body a little as he lay there, listening to the wind rustling the trees softly. _Gods I love being up here_, he thought._ It's so different from being down in the city. _

"Now, I want you to just talk no da. I don't care what you talk about, just talk and don't stop." 

Tasuki opened one eye to look at the monk quizzically, but Chichiri's eye was closed and he seemed to be concentrating. 

Tasuki closed his eyes and tried to think of something to talk about. _Well, if I don't have to talk about that bastard Makara, then I won't. _

"You know, I think we should bring Tama up here sometime. It's so different up here, I think he'd like it. You can't stay a city kid your whole life. You gotta get out. That's why the bandits stick together so well. There's something about the woods; it gets in your blood or some shit like that. I wouldn't wanna live anywhere else." He paused to take a breath. He decided to blurt his thoughts out loud. "Ya know, it's really weird talkin' like this. I mean why, do ya just want me to talk about anything? Oh wait, you can't answer because I'm supposed to be talkin'. Oh well, I guess I'll just keep goin' then. Shit, what do I talk about now? I'm runnin' out of things . . . Hmmm." He swallowed. "I miss Kouji. It's kinda weird. I thought I'd be glad to get away from him motherin' me, but now . . . I almost miss it. Kuso, I sound like a baby or something. I can take care of myself, damn it!" He sighed, trying to calm back down. 

"That's all right no da. If you want to get angry, that's okay." 

"I feel . . . I feel so fucking weak! I don't wanna be this way. I don't want to have to lean on anyone or be a burden to someone. I mean, fuck, some days Kouji would be dead on his feet, but he would still take care of me. I wish he hadn't stretched himself like that." 

"Would you do the same for him no da?" 

"Shit yeah," Tasuki replied, almost without thinking. "I guess that makes sense. We just . . ." He paused. 

"Go ahead no da." 

He took a deep breath. "We care about each other too much to let stuff like this happen. But . . . I don't know if I coulda been as strong as he was. I mean, he was there when I puked my guts out and when I stopped talking and when I broke my leg . . . I don't know if I coulda been that strong. How did he do it?" 

The monk didn't answer. 

Tasuki sighed. "I'm tired of making him worry, though. I just . . . I want him to think about himself. I just know that he's back there, pacing up and down, worrying about me. I don't want him to worry anymore. I want . . . I wanna somehow convince that I'm okay now, that I can take care of myself." 

"Is that true no da?" 

"Well, not completely. But he doesn't need to know that. I just don't want him to worry anymore." 

"He'll get better over time no da." 

"And he probably feels fuckin' guilty about this whole thing." Tasuki sighed explosively. 

"Why is that no da?" 

Tasuki took a deep breath. "Well, Makara's men had me hangin' over the bridge. Kouji grabbed onto me, but they attacked him and he was forced to drop me. He . . . he probably blames himself." 

"Do you no da?" 

"Of course not!" He waited for the monk to say something else, when he didn't he went on. "And I know nothing I say to him will make it better. Damn, why does he have to be so fuckin' stubborn?!" Again, he waited for Chichiri to make a response which never came. "I wanna kill Makara for what he put Kouji through! He thought I was fuckin' dead! I just . . . I can't wait to wring his scrawny little neck." 

"What about what he did to you no da?" 

Tasuki got very quiet. "Nothing I could do to him would ever pay him back for that." 

"Was it just what he did to you physically that makes you angry?" 

Tasuki swallowed. "Can I talk about something else?" 

"Will you talk about that later no da?" 

"Yeah." 

"All right, then. Let's go back to Kouji no da." 

"Okay. Ummm . . . I just . . . I'm glad he was there for me, but I also wish he hadn't seen me like that." 

"Why not no da?" 

"I don't want him to think I'm weak." 

"Tasuki-kun, anyone would be weak after what you went through. In fact, you're fortunate you lived through it no da." 

"Yeah, but that still doesn't mean I wanted him to see me like that." He sighed, drifting a little back into his memories. "Every night I would pray for him to find me, to somehow realize I wasn't dead. I thought maybe he'd be able to feel it, like Seishi can. But he couldn't." Tasuki stopped talking before any more bitterness could creep into his voice. 

Chichiri leaned forward. "Are you angry at him no da?" 

Tasuki bit his lip. 

"It's all right no da. Just let it come out." 

"But I feel fucking horrible!" Tasuki shouted, sitting up suddenly. "I mean what kind of asshole would resent the guy that saved his life?! How could I fuckin' ask for more?! What's wrong with me?!" 

Chichiri put a hand on his shoulder. "Feelings don't always have logical reasons no da." 

"But I . . . I was mad at him. For not knowing I wasn't dead, for not coming sooner before Makara . . . destroyed me. But . . ." He impatiently brushed away his tears. "That's not being fair to him!" 

"Tasuki-kun, you've had a terrible experience. You want to blame someone, lash out at someone. You're blaming yourself as much as you're blaming Kouji no da. You can't punish Makara, so you'll punish others. It's unfocused anger. But that you've acknowledged it is very good. Now, obviously while you were being held you got angry at Kouji. But now he's done a lot for you and that anger is no longer appropriate. You're just feeling it because you're frustrated and can't take it out on the person who deserves it. Does that make sense no da?" 

Tasuki nodded, drying his tears. 

"We'll stop for today no da." He rubbed Tasuki's shoulder. "You did well no da." 

~~~

_What is it with me and edge metaphors? Bah._


	9. Trial and Error

_Sorry for the wait, everyone. I apologize. I don't even really have a good reason. Gomenasai . . . _

Breaking Point  
by Kimura  
Chapter 9 - Trial and Error 

_A few days later . . . _

Tasuki and Chichiri lounged around in the tavern room they had rented for the day and following night. 

Tasuki flopped down on the bed. He expected Chichiri's "talk session" to begin any minute. _I may as well get comfortable._

Chichiri sat down across from him. "Ready no da?" 

Tasuki, nodded closing his eyes. Sometimes he could think better that way. 

"Do you think you could just describe a typical day at Makara's for me no da? Are you ready for that?" 

Tasuki tensed, but took a deep breath. "I think so." 

~~~

_The cell door opened. Tasuki hardly stirred. He knew they were just coming to give him a little food. If he didn't say anything, they usually left him alone. _

Today, he was right. The guard set down two bowls and left. 

Tasuki slowly and painfully sat up. Every part of him ached. He checked for broken bones and looked for blood in the dim light. 

After deciding he didn't have any life-threatening wounds, he picked up the rice and water. He ate in silence, trying to keep the lump in his throat down that tended to reduce his appetite. I need to fucking eat_, he told himself. _Not sit here and cry. _He finished the food and leaned against the wall. _

His wrists itched and burned from the chaffing of the iron cuffs. He wanted to get them off, but that would mean going down the hall and -- 

He didn't want to think about it yet. If he could just think of something else, maybe it wouldn't be so bad today. 

But it would be. He knew it would be. 

The door opened again. 

This time, Tasuki couldn't help shivering. They reached down and unlocked the chains. The momentary relief was cut off by fire in his arms as they yanked him to his unsteady feet. They held onto him partly to keep him from escaping, but also just to keep him upright. 

He fought wildly, trying to delay his meeting with Makara. There's got to be some way out of this! _he thought to himself, already crying a little. _What did I do to deserve this?! 

~~~

"Nothing no da." 

"What?" Tasuki asked, broken from his narration. 

"You did nothing to deserve it no da." 

"Oh. Right," Tasuki said, understanding. He had forgotten the monk was even listening. 

"No, Tasuki-kun, you're not hearing me." He stood and then sat on the edge of the bed. "I said, you did nothing to deserve this no da." 

The bandit was puzzled. "I know." 

Chichiri shook his head. "No. You don't." 

Tasuki sat up and exploded," What do you want from me?! I don't get it, okay?! I don't know what you want!" 

"I can tell that you don't really believe it no da. You think deep down that you must have committed some horrible sin to cause this." 

Tasuki laughed harshly. "Why the hell not? I've done a shit load wrong in my lifetime. Maybe Suzaku's punishin' me for bein' a bandit." 

"No, no da. That's not how it works. You only stole for survival. I know you Tasuki. You are not a bad person. You did not deserve this." 

"Then why?" Tasuki whispered. "Why else would it have happened?" 

"I don't know no da," Chichiri whispered back. "But it is not your fault." 

Tasuki turned to face him and hugged him fiercely. 

Chichiri hugged him back and let him cry. 

A few minutes later, Tasuki pulled away. 

"You don't have to go on if --" 

"I want to finish it," Tasuki said resolutely. 

Chichiri went back to his seat. 

Tasuki closed his eyes. 

~~~

Makara leaned over him, laughing cruelly. "You'll never get out, Genrou. They're not coming for you. No one will. No one would bother anyway." 

"THAT'S NOT TRUE!" Tasuki screamed. 

Makara's face darkened. "Don't you scream at me. Don't you EVER scream at me!!!" He slapped Tasuki viciously. Then again. 

Then again. 

Then again. 

~~~

"NO NO NO! LEAVE ME ALONE!" 

Chichiri shook Tasuki by his shoulders. "Tasuki! Tasuki, listen to me! TASUKI!" 

Tasuki finally met the monk's masked face. 

Chichiri pulled him to his chest, stroking his fiery hair. "Shhhh, na no da. It's over now. It's over. He can't hurt you now." 

Tasuki sobbed helplessly. He hadn't even meant to slip back in time. It just sort of happened. Makara seemed to still have a strong hold over him. 

"I can't win," Tasuki whispered. "I can't win!" 

"Shh, Tasuki-kun. You can win; you will. It just takes time no da." 

"No, I can't, I can't." 

Chichiri rocked him gently. "Shh, no da." 

Tasuki closed his eyes tightly. "Kouji . . ." 

"It's all right no da. Shhh." Chichiri laid him down. "Rest, no da. You need to rest." 

Tasuki fought a little against him. "No, no, I don't need this!" 

"Hush no da. Just relax." 

Tasuki sighed, closing his eyes. He let Chichiri soothe him to sleep, wondering how on earth this was supposed to help him get better. 

~~~

Chichiri watched the young bandit sleep as he slipped off his mask. He dried his cheeks on his soft kesa. The smell and feel of the fabric was comforting. 

What kind of crazed psycho had tortured his friend and shattered him like this? 

The monk stood and stared out the window through his blurred vision. He tried to let nature soothe him, but he was far too troubled. Though he'd never show it, the emotional burden of trying to heal Tasuki was a weight he was having difficulty shouldering. The damage to Tasuki's confidence, trust, memory, and stamina was immeasurable. Honestly, he wasn't sure the redhead could pull through. He was strong, but stubborn and reluctant. 

_I have to believe him because he doesn't believe himself_, the monk said to himself. _If Kouji or I lose faith in him, he's finished. I wish Nuriko or Tamahome was here. They were closer to him than I. But if I can't do this . . . no one can. I'm his only chance. _

Chichiri shuddered, nauseated by the idea that Tasuki's life was in his hands. 

_If this was a physical fight, I'd just use my magic. But it's an emotional battle. No amount of magic can help. I have to help him or he dies. That's all there is to it. _

Chichiri leaned his head against the cool glass._ Suzaku, give me the strength to help him. Don't let one of your Seishi die like this. _

He stood up and looked over at Tasuki sleeping on the bed, realizing how tired he'd become himself. He started to go to the bed to lie down beside Tasuki. 

_No, I don't want to wake him. _

The blue-haired seishi laid down on the ground and ignored the tears as they rolled down his scarred face to the wooden floor. 

~~~

Kouji was chained to the wall. He couldn't move. He couldn't do anything. 

He watched helplessly as Makara tortured Genrou, used the machine on him, beat him. 

Kouji screamed, trying to get free. 

It was no use, there was nothing he could do. 

Genrou was getting hurt and he couldn't help him. 

"NO! LEAVE HIM ALONE!" Kouji shouted, his throat growing hoarse. 

"The more you scream, the more I hurt him," Makara replied without so much as a glance over his shoulder. 

Genrou met Kouji's eyes. "Kouji . . . Aniki . . . please . . . HELP ME!" 

~~~

Kouji awoke with a start. He looked around the room frantically, then calmed as he realized it had only been a dream. 

He sighed and slowly walked to the window. Nightmare was more accurate. And he'd been having them since Genrou left. 

_Chichiri's with him_, he told himself. _He won't let anything happen. _

The thought still didn't bring him enough comfort to sleep through the night soundly. 

He wondered if Genrou was still having bad dreams every night. _He doesn't need any more of them_, he thought angrily. _He's been living a nightmare for long enough. _

He sighed again and climbed back into bed, praying to Suzaku to keep his friends safe. 

~~~

The next day . . . 

Tasuki was fairly silent the whole morning. Chichiri has anticipated this and let it happen. The tortured bandit was easily shaken up and he needed time to recover. Chichiri suggested they take a walk after breakfast and led Tasuki to the river that ran through the town. 

The monk sat under the shade of a tree as he watched Tasuki pick up small stones and flick them into the sparkling water. 

"What are you upset about no da?" 

Tasuki didn't answer. 

"Are you mad at me no da?" 

The bandit shook his head and continued to throw rocks. 

"Makara?" 

Tasuki froze, then nodded. He threw another stone so hard, it skipped across the ripples before sinking. 

"You're mad because he can still get to you?" 

Tasuki clenched his jaw in reply. 

"If we work together, we can stop him no da. If you remember everything that happened and try to deal with it, these memories won't be able to suddenly come to surface and overwhelm you no da. The problem is, you're repressing them. You have to let them come back out." 

Tasuki slowly shook his head. 

Chichiri gave him a puzzled look. 

The bandit very slowly pulled out a small jar, containing some kind of liquid. 

The monk's eyes widened. "Kodoku*?" 

Tasuki nodded. 

"Where did you get that no da?" 

The redhead didn't answer and slowly removed the lid. 

"No, Tasuki! That's the easy way out!" 

"DON'T YOU THINK I FUCKING DESERVE THE EASY WAY OUT AFTER WHAT I'VE BEEN THROUGH?!" Tasuki screamed with a hatred Chichiri didn't know he had. He angrily jabbed at the tears on his face. 

"If you drink that no da, you won't only forget Makara. You'll forget me. And Kouji. And Nuriko. And Chiriko. All those people you loved. All those people who died fighting for what you believed in. If you want to FUCKING give all that up, then GO AHEAD!" the monk shouted, standing up. "If you're ready to quit, this time I won't stop you. Do what you want. If you want to fight, meet me back at the inn." He turned and went back into town. 

~~~

_[A/N: Kodoku is not the right word here, but I can't remember what it should be. It's whatever Nakago gave Tamahome to make him forget everything. Does anyone know? It begins with a "b" because Amiboshi tries to give it to Suboshi ... damn, why can't I remember?]_

Chichiri waited tensely for an hour in the inn. He sat at a table, slowly drinking water. Finally, the redhead walked into the room. 

The monk was so relieved, he jumped up and hugged him tightly. 

Tasuki hugged him back silently. "I'm sorry," he whispered after a minute. "I'm so sorry . . . I . . ." 

"It's all right no da." He pulled away after a minute. "But I want you to know that this means you're going to stick with it all the way no da." 

Tasuki clung back onto him. "Just don't leave again." 

Chichiri realized his abrupt exit had frightened Tasuki a little. _He doesn't want to be left again. _The monk returned the embrace. "I promise no da. I won't." 

"Then I'll stick with it until the end." 

~~~


	10. Reversal

_I decided to be nice and include everything in this last chapter. I could've broken it into one short chapter and one long and made you wait for the conclusion . . . but I decided to be nice. ^_^ Enjoy._

Breaking Point  
by Kimura  
Chapter 10 - Reversal 

_Two weeks later . . ._

"Kashira, we've received a message," a young boy said, laying a piece of paper on Kouji's desk. 

Kouji grabbed it eagerly and dismissed the boy. 

"We'll be returning in a few days no da," the message read. "Tasuki is doing much better. Expect us soon." 

Kouji breathed a huge sigh of relief. _Thank Suzaku_, he thought. _They're safe. And Genrou's doing better. Now I can finally relax. _

He sat back in his chair, wondering how much progress Tasuki had made. 

~~~

Two days later . . . 

Whenever Tasuki returned to Reikaku, it filled a hole in his heart he wasn't even aware had formed. Everything seemed to fall into place. He took a deep breath of fresh air. 

The past few weeks had not been easy. Many unpleasant memories were brought to the surface. But Chichiri had forced him to talk about each one. And each time he did, the whole ordeal was mitigated. 

Now he was ready to go back and take his place at Reikaku. He wasn't completely healed, but he was much more prepared to deal with life. 

He spurred the horse on a little faster; he was anxious to see Kouji again. They brought their horses to the stable and headed inside. 

"Where's Kouji?" Tasuki asked one of the other men. 

The man turned pale. "Umm . . ." 

Tasuki felt his stomach drop. "I said, where's Kouji, aho?" 

"G-G-Genrou . . . h-he . . ." 

Tyoushi saw Tasuki, Chichiri, and the stuttering bandit. "Oh shit." He shoved the other bandit out of the way. "Genrou, I think you'd better come with me." 

"What the hell is going on?!" Tasuki shouted, despite Chichiri's hand on his shoulder. 

"Just come with me," Tyoushi said, motioning to the Leader's Room. 

Tasuki growled and went in, followed by Chichiri. Tyoushi closed the door after them. He leaned against it for support. 

"Kouji's gone." 

"WHAT?!" Tasuki screamed. 

"He was taken two days ago, the night after he got your message. They . . . left this," he said, warily handing Tasuki a piece of paper. 

Tasuki grabbed it and scanned it quickly. Chichiri looked over his shoulder. 

"Bandits of Reikaku: Your leader Kouji will not be returned until Genrou comes to me alone and unarmed. Only then will I consider letting either one of them go. Signed, Makara." 

Tasuki stared at the message and read it several times, hoping the meaning would change each time. 

He looked up at Chichiri and Tyoushi, then collapsed to the floor. 

~~~

The monk held a cold cloth to Tasuki's forehead, waiting for him to come around. The bandit stirred, then opened his eyes. 

He sat straight up in bed. "Kouji!" 

Chichiri held him by his shoulders. "Relax no da. You're in no shape to go anywhere." 

Tasuki laid back, having made himself dizzy. "Did any of the other bandits see anything?" 

"No. Tyoushi already looked into that," Chichiri answered. 

Tasuki sighed, swallowing hard. 

"We'll get him back no da." 

"I'll have to do what he wants --" 

"No! That's the last thing we'll do, Tasuki! He could kill you!" 

"But he could kill Kouji!" 

"We need to think this over no da. We need a plan." He stood up. "Get some rest. We'll work it out in the morning." He quietly left the redhead alone. 

Tasuki laid there, thinking about everything he and Chichiri had discussed over the past two weeks. 

He got out of bed. 

~~~

_[A/N: That's where I considered leaving you off. Bwahahaha!]_

Tasuki had stolen a map from the Leader's Room in order to find his was to Makara's. He felt completely numb as he rode. He couldn't even think of what they were doing to Kouji or what they'd do to him when he got there. But he knew one thing. 

There was no way Makara would get anywhere near Kouji with the Machine. 

Two guards met him outside the cabin. He handed over his weapons: the tessen, his sword, and a small knife he kept in his boot. 

They led him inside. Makara was waiting for him. 

"Welcome home, Genrou," Makara said with a smile. 

"Let him go," Tasuki said simply. 

"You should know better than that, Genrou," Makara replied, circling around him like a lion stalking its prey. "I make the rules here. Check him." 

The two men from outside checked Tasuki for any additional weapons. They found none. 

"Take him downstairs," Makara ordered them, sticking the tessen in his belt. 

Tasuki shook off the guards and headed down by himself. The guards followed him until he reached his cell. They unlocked it and shoved Tasuki inside, locking it after him. 

Tasuki blinked a few times, trying to get his eyes to adjust to the dark. He finally spotted a form on the floor. He froze. 

For a moment, he saw himself lying on the floor bruised and bleeding. A second later, he realized it was Kouji he was looking at, not himself. 

A strangled cry escaped his throat as he knelt next to his friend. "Kouji!" 

On the surface, it seemed they had managed to do in just a few days the same amount of damage they had done to Tasuki in months. 

Tears raced hot and fast down Tasuki's pale face. The room around him and Kouji was spinning; he stomach turned, threatening to vomit. 

Kouji moaned, shifting slightly. "Genrou . . ." 

It finally registered in Tasuki's mind that Kouji needed him, like he had needed Kouji all those months ago. Still needed him. 

He rested a badly shaking hand on Kouji's shoulder. "Kouji . . . I'm here," he whispered. 

Kouji moaned again, then slowly opened his eyes. "Genrou?" He closed his eyes again. "You fucking moron." 

Tasuki swallowed, trying to make sense of everything that was happening. "Kouji --" 

"I can't believe you fuckin' came! What the hell were you thinking?!" Kouji shouted, looking up at him. 

Tasuki didn't know what to say; the sobs were choking him. Had he been wrong to come? Should they have tried to build up some sort of attack? Did Kouji not need him? Were they just both going to die? 

Kouji's face softened as he slowly and painfully sat up. _Great_, he thought. _He's fuckin' relivin' his memories and watching me go through the same shit. And what do I do? I go and yell at him for tryin' to help me. Good one, Kouji. _He hugged Tasuki fiercely. "I'm sorry, Gen-chan. I didn't mean that . . . I . . . fuck, I don't know what I'm sayin'." 

Tasuki rested his head against Kouji's shoulder for minute, trying to pull himself back together. He slowly pulled away, putting a hand to his friend's bruised cheek. "What'd they do to you?" 

Kouji flinched away. "Nothin' I couldn't handle. They just roughed me up some." 

"Bull shit," Tasuki snapped. 

Kouji shrugged. 

Tasuki put a hand on his shoulder. "You and Chichiri were right all along. I was stupid not to talk to you guys about what happened. Don't be a fuckin' hypocrite and do the same thing." 

Kouji laughed a little. "You know, I used to pray every night that you were sick that just once I could know what you went through. I wanted to know what you felt like. How helpless, hopeless, hurting. Just so maybe I could help you. Just so you wouldn't be so alone. And so . . . I wouldn't --" His voice broke and he cut off abruptly. 

"Wouldn't feel guilty for dropping me into the river," Tasuki finished. 

Kouji kept his back to the redhead, his shoulders hunched. "Well, I got my wish, didn't I?" 

"No one deserves this, Kouji," Tasuki whispered. "You didn't mean to drop me. They would've cut your arms off to make you let go. No one deserves what these monsters do. It's taken me months to learn that, Kouji. Please believe me." 

Kouji slowly turned to face him, tears shining in his sapphire eyes. 

The two men hugged each other, ignoring the tears that stained the stone floor. 

"I couldn't bear it," Tasuki whispered. "I couldn't stop thinking of what they might be doing to you . . ." 

"I'm still in one piece," Kouji told him, just as softly. "I wanted you to come, but I didn't want you to get involved at the same time." 

"I couldn't just abandon you here." 

"Not like I did to you," Kouji replied bitterly. 

Tasuki hugged him tighter. "That's in the past. You thought I was dead; it wasn't your fault. Let it go, Kouji. We'll never get through what that psycho's got in store for us if we don't let go of what's happened." 

Kouji nodded. 

Just as they pulled away, the door to the cell swung open. The two men on the floor looked at each other, then stood up together, holding hands. 

"Ah, what a nice pair of lovebirds," Makara joked, motioning for the guards to bring them to the Torture Room. 

Tasuki expected to immediately to be chained down, but Makara stood in front of the two of them. 

"Well, Genrou. Things are really up to you," he said pleasantly. "You can either face the Machine yourself, or let Kouji-chan handle it." 

Tasuki's face turned completely white. 

"Let me take it, Genrou," Kouji said immediately. "I can take it." 

Tasuki didn't hear him, couldn't hear him. _I don't want to go through all that again . . . _he thought, looking at the wooden table. _But I can't put Kouji through that! _He looked at his friend's bruised face, then said, "I'll do it." 

"Genrou, NO!" Kouji shouted as the guards shoved him against the wall and chained him to it. 

Tasuki put up a good fight, but they secured him down to the table. He looked up at Makara and nearly vomited right in his face. The memories were threatening to overwhelm him. _No, I've gotta concentrate on the present_, he told himself. 

"So, you picked the brave choice," Makara said, circling slowly around the table. "Funny, I figured you for a coward. So, what have you been doing these past few months? Recovering?" 

"Leave him alone!" Kouji shouted. He could almost see the careful work he and Chichiri had done unraveling before his eyes. _If he falls apart again, I don't think anyone could save him_, he thought. 

Makara looked up, then nodded at one of the guards. 

Kouji was rewarded with a solid punch to the stomach. 

Tasuki closed his eyes, trying desperately to recall everything Chichiri had told him. _None of that's helpful! It was all about getting over this! Not dealing with it if it happened again! _

Think, Genrou, think, he told himself. _For a month you dreamt of nothing else but coming back here. What happened in those dreams? _

I usually got my wish and died. 

Oh, well, that's real fucking useful. 

I wish I could do that now . . . just die and get out of this . . . 

But if I die what happens to Kouji? 

His eyes shot open. 

_I've got to get Kouji out of this somehow. I'll have to let him torture me so he'll lock us back up. I've got to give the others time to get to us. _

His mind made up, he let his attention drift back to Makara's words. 

He yelped as a short blast of pain exploded in his head. 

He tried to look around, but splotches of color invaded his vision. 

"Did you miss my little invention?" Makara asked. "I think she missed you, Genrou." 

~~~

My worst nightmare. 

I can't reach him, can't help him. Nothing I say makes a difference. 

GENROU! 

Oh God, he's gonna fuckin' kill him! No! Not after all we've been through! Not after how far he's come! 

Kouji had seen the amazing changes in his friend in just the few minutes they had spent together. _He was finally getting better. He was gonna be okay . . . but what about after this? _

Makara had started the Torture proper now. Oddly enough, Tasuki wasn't making a sound. 

_What's he thinking about? Damn it, why can't I have any Seishi powers to help him? God, why did him come alone? FUCK! _

Tasuki screamed as Makara held a long blast on him. 

"STOP IT!" Kouji yelled, tears streaming down his face. He ignored the punches the guards landed on him. "GENROU!" 

He pulled fiercely against the iron chains, desperate to get free. 

Abruptly, the noise stopped. Makara stopped. Kouji's blood ran cold. 

Makara held a hand over Tasuki's nose and mouth, feeling for breathing. 

"You fucking killed him!" Kouji choked out, unwilling to accept this reality a second time. 

"He's alive," Makara replied curtly. "He just passed out. He didn't last anywhere near long as I had hoped." 

He looked up at the guards. 

Before Kouji could figure out what was happening, he and Tasuki had switched places. He looked up at his friend from the table, hanging limply on the wall. 

Makara looked down at him. "Ready to find out what Genrou's been through?" 

"I'll kill you for this," Kouji growled. 

Makara smirked. 

~~~

Tasuki verged on the edge of consciousness. He felt like he was floating. He was separated from the pain in his body and endeavored to enjoy the sensation. 

He could hear screaming in the distance. 

_Who is that? _he wondered vaguely. 

Kouji.

KOUJI?! 

Makara . . . Makara . . . he's . . . NO! 

Tasuki's eyes jerked open and confirmed his fears. 

"NO! MAKARA, LET HIM GO!" 

Makara looked up, a small smile on his face. "Oh, you're awake now, are you? Well, you tired out too quickly, so I started using Kouji-chan instead." 

"STOP!" Tasuki screamed uselessly. 

Kouji said nothing, but Tasuki could see he was shivering. 

The Suzaku Seishi felt something building up in his chest. A spark -- no -- now a fire. A blaze. It hurt; it was hurting him. It was so immense, he couldn't even identify it. It spread slowly throughout the rest of his body. He could feel it in his arms. 

I. Must. Get. To. Kouji. 

His eyes slowly opened and then narrowed, focused on the Murderer. 

He thought of nothing except stopping him. 

With a growl, he pulled away from the wall. 

The iron chains broke. 

He raced forward, grabbing the tessen out of Makara's belt. He whirled around. 

"REKKA SHINEN!" The huge wall of flames sent the four guards running out of the building. 

He turned and nailed Makara in the stomach with the metal fan. 

His tormentor slid to the ground. Tasuki quickly unchained Kouji and helped him off the table. His friend was still shivering. He gently set him down on the floor, then turned murderously back to the crouched form on the floor. 

"Get up," Tasuki ordered. 

Makara didn't move. 

Tasuki kicked him in the side. "Get UP!" 

"Genrou, don't," Kouji managed. 

Tasuki dragged Makara up and slammed him onto the table, chaining him down. "NOW you're gonna know what it's like!" 

"Genrou, don't!" Kouji said more forcefully. "Then you'll be no better than him!" 

"DON'T GIVE ME ANY OF THAT CRAP!" Tasuki screamed. "He deserves it!" 

Kouji struggled to stay conscious. "Gen, you told me that no one deserves what these monsters do. Not even him, Gen-chan, not even him. You said no one. Don't . . ." He moaned, closing his eyes. 

"Kouji!" Tasuki cried, kneeling beside his friend. 

Kouji shivered. "I just want to go home, Genrou." 

Tasuki stood back up, looking at the form on the table, then at his creation: the Machine. He took out the tessen. 

"Genrou, NO!" Makara screamed. 

"REKKA SHINEN!" 

The wooden contraption burst into flames and quickly crumbled to the ground. Tasuki used the tessen as a club, hitting the Machine into smaller and smaller pieces. The rock responsible for its power was shattered. Tasuki didn't notice the tears rolling down his face as he took out all of his anger on the Machine. 

Makara shouted futilely for him to stop. 

Hands gently grasped Tasuki's arms, quieting him. 

"That's enough no da," the monk said softly. "That's enough." 

Everything fell into place as Tasuki buried his face in Chichiri's shoulder._ He broke the chains_, he realized. 

The monk soothed his friend for a moment. "C'mon no da. Let's get Kouji home." 

Tasuki nodded. He and Chichiri helped Kouji to his feet. 

They left Makara alone, chained to the table. 

~~~

Kouji groaned, slowly opening his eyes. The familiar sight of his room at Reikaku greeted him. He looked over to the left, seeing Tasuki beside his bed, watching him carefully. 

"You all right?" Tasuki asked, his voice a little hoarse. 

"Yeah, I think so." Kouji looked at his friend closely. "You been up all night?" 

Tasuki nodded. 

"Go get some sleep, aho," Kouji said, slowly sitting up. 

Tasuki said nothing, just regarded him. 

Kouji squirmed under his gaze, an unusual reaction for him. "What?" 

"Are you really okay?" 

Kouji looked up, his expression approaching angry. "You already know the answer. What's the point?" 

Tasuki's face didn't change. "I want to hear you say it." 

Kouji looked away, but he could already hear in his head the countless conversations the two had had when their roles were reversed. He took a deep breath, knowing that once he started talking, he wasn't going to be able to stop. 

"Okay, I'm not okay. And you knew I wouldn't be. But maybe I'm just not fuckin' ready to talk about it even though I know I need to. And every time I close my eyes, I can see his face coming out of the dark. And I see what he did to you. And I just wish that none of this had ever FUCKING happened! It's not fair! Why did he do it?!" He stopped to angrily brush away tears. "How did you do it, Genrou? How did you stay so strong? He broke me in a few seconds. How did you hold out so long? I couldn't get away from him. And I knew you'd fuckin' come and there was nothing I could do about it! I felt so trapped. I knew I was bringin' you back into it. I wish he'd just fuckin' killed me so you didn't need to get involved. And th-that d-damn machine . . . I've never been so fucking scared in my whole life . . . Except when I thought you were dead. I was scared then, like I've never been. I was scared because I knew that you were missin' inside me, like a part of me had just been ripped away. And I woulda done anything to get you back. And now you've seen what kinda coward I really am and you're just gonna leave again, Genrou . . ." 

Tasuki didn't -- couldn't -- hear any more. He hugged Kouji fiercely, cutting off his words. "You're not a coward, Kouji. That's the last thing you'd be! Don't say that, aho!" 

"B-But you were stronger than me . . ." Kouji sobbed. 

"You knew what to expect," Tasuki said patiently. "You saw what it did to me. You had every right to be afraid. And everyone has their own levels of tolerance, Kouji." He pulled away and made Kouji meet his eyes. "I could stand up to Makara. So what? If I had been in your place, I don't think I could've taken care of you the way you did for me. I would've been too scared. But you did that. Look at me now, I made it." 

"But you're doing it now," Kouji pointed out. 

"You're not exactly in this same shape I was when Makara was done with me," the redhead replied. "Everyone's got their own breaking point, Kouji. It doesn't make anyone stronger than anyone else." 

Kouji calmed, leaning his head on Tasuki's shoulder. "I think that monk rubbed off on you. You're startin' to make too much sense." 

Tasuki laughed. 

They stayed like that for a few minutes. 

"You okay now?" Tasuki asked. 

"I'm gettin' there," Kouji answered honestly. 

"Good. In that case, I'm going to bed." 

Kouji nodded and let him go. 

Tasuki smirked over his shoulder, then went to his own room. 

~~~

_A month later . . . _

Kouji and Tasuki sat together, watching the stars in silence. 

"Kouji?" 

"Mm?" 

"I-I don't think I can go by Genrou anymore," the bandit said slowly. 

Kouji sat up. "Why not?" 

"I know it's the name Hakurou gave me, but . . . I just don't feel like that's who I am anymore. It hasn't been for a long time." 

Kouji looked thoughtful. "What do you want us to call you? Shun'u?" 

Tasuki shook his head. The old name sounded strange rolling off of Kouji's tongue. "No, I never liked my real name." 

Kouji chuckled. "How about just Tasuki, then?"

Am I worthy of my Seishi name? the redhead wondered._ Is that who I am? _He thought back to person he became as a Seishi and the person he was now. They were different, but not overly so. "Yeah," he answered slowly. "That sounds right." 

Kouji smirked and laid back down. "Tasuki it is, then." There was a minute of uncomfortable silence. "You're not staying, are you?" 

It took Tasuki a minute to answer. "No, I'm not." 

"I understand," Kouji said thickly. 

"Gomen na --" 

"No, daijoubu. Don't apologize. You need to move on." He turned to face his friend. "Just come back and visit, aho." 

Tasuki hugged him. "I will. I give you my word as a Seishi." He held back his tears. 

"Don't worry," Kouji whispered. "If Makara couldn't tear us apart, nothing can. I'll always be your Aniki. And you can come back any time. You know that, right?" 

"Yeah," Tasuki answered softly, a tear sliding down his cheek. "I know." 

~~~

_Ta da! The End! I toyed with writing a sequel to this, but I never really finished it. I don't really have any other serious FY fanfic stuff. Considering how obsessed I was with it, that's pretty odd. I write Backstreet Boys fanfiction now. So, if you're a BSB fan (or just feel like humoring me by reading my other stuff), check out my stories and poetry. If you're not a fan of BSB, please consider reading my tongue-in-cheek essay "The Physics of Screaming." ^_^ Thanks for the reviews!_


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